I'm a Word Dick:

I don't know why. I mean, I grew up in Mississippi of all places but I have a rather large vocabulary and I'll spend a 50 cent word here and there. I find less people who actually understand 50 cent words anymore. Why bother with a complicated word that encapsulates four or five of the things you are trying to say when you can waste time describing those four or five things individually, at the same time, not even have the words to describe those four or five things.

VOCABULARIES have shrunken in the past 11 years. Why? I blame the schools, parents and the smart phone. I know, I'm a prude. I insist on typing every letter, every punctuation mark, anything to make my message CLEAR. Do you have any idea how many people completely misunderstand or misinterpret your text messages? I can type out a plain text using the correct punctuation and people still don't understand. Don't even get me started on the importance of diacriticle marks!

I read through news feeds and I'll click on a article with a bold headline. After about 3 paragraphs I give up because the author doesn't get to the bold headline as promised! Remember, when telling a story it's, Who, What, When Where and Why. Stop wasting your reader or listener's time with a bunch of extraneous wordage. Which now, after 3 paragraphs, I'll get to my BOLD headline, "See, What Had Happened Was..."

I have this friend. He recently decided he didn't need to take his anti-mood elevators. His resultant behaviour drove his entire family, friends and support groups away. He started using erratic speech. What I call, "Cliché, Catch-Phrases and Onomatopoeia." He'll start sentences with, "See what had happened was..." It makes me bristle. After 1 or 30 times later I finally asked him if he was aware of this speech pattern? He wasn't. I also offer the worst offender, "See...What You Don't Understand is..." That one I actually can't abide as a listener. What I don't understand is your lack of understanding of the English language. It's as if I were trying to communicate with an African village that speaks with pops and clicks. His usual sentence begins with, "See...what had happened was..." and progresses with, "this thing, came-out-a-no-where and smacked-me-into-next-Tuesday like, Wham!-Bam!-Pow! Do you know what I mean?" No, not really. Could you maybe toss a noun or a verb in that string of nonsense?

The biggest annoyance about this gibble-gabble speak is how unnecessary it is. Get to your point. When I hear, "Can I Ask You a Question?" I want to scream, "You just did!" If you are afraid of asking someone a personal question then say so. Ask away, or say, "I'd like to ask you a personal question."

Don't say, "Can I ask you a question?", if you are just asking a mundane question. It's creepy and dramatic!

That's all.