Inaugaratin'

I told ya'll she'd be there although sans fur but with a magnificent church lady chapeau. What was she singing? The tune sounded familiar yet I couldn't quite place the melody or the lyrics...Well it's official! I officially watched the inauguration whilst lounged on the couch with a junk food pigpen buffet surrounding me. My official inauguration ball gown was a combination of all three choices. It was an olive drab jumpsuit designed by the army/navy surplus store. I know I can just hear your oohs and aahhs. Shut it up cause I was warm. The shoes were by Deerfoam and my hair was done by the bed. Officially it stuck up all day long. My bed does official hair that lasts and lasts. I officially gotta go back to work tomorrow....

Entrapment, 9/11, Aretha, and The Inauguration Ball:

I watched the movie Entrapment starring Sean Connery and Katherine Zeta-Jones-Douglass a few years ago and it was then that I hatched my own 9/11 conspiracy theory. In the movie Katherine Zeta-Jones-Douglass knocks off a major multinational banking facility in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. She manages to nab $8 Billion in a few seconds by skimming pennies from bank transfers.


















I then decided that the World Trade Center was exactly like the bank in the Katherine Zeta-Jones-Douglass movie and that our government and our President knocked it off. The event probably erased debt that belonged to the President and his constituents and padded their bank accounts at the same time. Then the buildings crashed to the ground removing any evidence of tampering. I assume that this actually happened and therefore it’s true, because I assumed it.
























Then the intelligence agencies invented Osama Bin Laden the mysterious terrorist that has never been seen publicly. I had never heard of him before, had you? Then the war started and the troops went hunting for him. All they found was Saddam Hussein. Isn’t that a coincidence that they found Hussein instead of Bin Laden when the Bush family has been feuding with him since forever? They have never caught Bin Laden because he isn’t real.






















So I have been patiently waiting until the last day of Bush’s evil regime expecting to see some poor unsuspecting Muslim man who looks like Bin Laden to lose his head then have it paraded around the world on a stick. So that Bush will appear to be a hero for saving us from the world’s number one terrorist that doesn’t actually exist. I imagine this to happen sometime around lunch on Tuesday January 20th 2009 just in time to interrupt Obama’s inauguration.

That’s my theory and I assume it’s true without any factual information to back it up because it’s true.
























In other news, what does one wear on inauguration day? Do I wear a ball gown? I just love wearing ball gowns. Wearing a ball gown for no apparent reason is so decadent. Just lounge around in front of the TV wearing my inauguration ball gown while watching the inauguration.






















I feel certain that Aretha will be there performing as she always does wearing a ball gown engineered with aircraft cable straps to hold her enormous hooters in place. Over which she’ll have a luxurious fur coat made from many many dead animal pelts. It takes a lot of pelts.














So I set about perusing the local sales circulars in the Sunday Paper in search of just the right inauguration ensemble. I’ve narrowed it down to one of these three looks and they are all 30 % off!

Nellie:

I always wondered what happened to that lost 18 ½ minutes of Nixon Watergate tape.

Free:

Election Day:

Don't let this happen! The poor little Tiny Winky's of the world need your protection. So he's black...get over it...vote for him. Strike down the bigots of Florida and California who want to write evil legislation into state constitutions that in essence say, “Separate IS Equal”.

Why here in Florida the pro marriage ban signs have little slogans underneath that say, “Save Our Children”.

Wha…?

First off I aint interested in children, I prefer old men.

Second I aint about to go recruit children to make them gay…it’s hard work…a little akin to handiwork or craft projects…so much energy expended making sows ears into silk purses. The results are always shoddy and never as good as the spontaneous natural homegrown versions that I come up with in my evil gay laboratories that dot the globe in world headquarters awaiting the moment to strike with force…never underestimate an evil gay scientist with a gay clone army.

Thirdly so many gay folk are adopting the unwanted children resulting from slapdash shotgun hillbilly unions. Thank God someone is…and that someone is just taking care of those babies. Yeah they can get married and make a mockery of the institution but two people who actually love one another can’t? After you have farmed out your unwanted children to undesirable relatives then who you gonna get next to take one in? The gays.

Problem solved.

Things can change quickly…but not if you don’t vote for change and the possibility of change. Now get out there and vote for it!

VOTE!

Palin Strikes a Pose for Vogue:

Via:

Link:

Cindy Cindy Cindy:

That Cindy McCain is one sharp cookie sporting a little black sling at a press conference today. Imagine using an injury to garner sympathy votes this early in the election campaign. She's genius. Poor Cindy's not accustomed to using her arms and hands for manual tasks as she relies on slaves for that. No polishing the silver or beating cake batter for our little Miss Cindy. Centuries of selective pampered breeding can leave ones wrist bones a little frail. What was she doing shaking hands with commoners in the first place? Foolish Cindy. My only problem with the whole ploy is that she wasn’t able to beat her couturier into stitching up a sling to match her ensemble.