Bonus Hole:

Boys in Bikinis girls with surfboards:

When did everyone become so Victorian about showing some skin on the beach? In the 80's no one batted an eye if Magnum wore short shorts. Today fat ladies wear skimpy strings to the beach while the pot bellied husbands wear exaggerated pajama like board shorts that cover the ankles with cartoon characters printed all over them.

Careful don't show too much skin!

They should exchange swimwear.

I'm off to the beach..."Strangers in the night exchanging pantses..."

Beach Tip 237:

Remember Pensacola is only 929 miles south of Chicago.
























Free Tanning Oil with every scoop of sand.
























Don't be a dirty dolly while you are here.





Or the Barbie Pirate of the Caribbean,
























Will bury you in the sand,



















Where you will drown at high tide.

Little Blue Bikini:

I’m going to wear my new sheer blue bikini to the beach today.

















It’s practically see-through when wet.
























My furry friend likes a blue bikini.
























So does my hairless friend.

New Suit:

I'm in the market for a new swimsuit. All of the suits in my regular rotation have become saturated with oil and soiled with tar ball stains. I’ve narrowed it down to a few choices. Want you please help me make the selection?


First up, the ‘Intrusive Invader’.






























































Featuring a specially designed anal hook rear with a full over the shoulder adjustable strap that lets you increase or decrease the amount of pressure. The giant fish hook gives it that 'Catch of the Day' look.
























And anal beads. Once the beads are lubed and popped into place this design is nothing less than startling.





















And an anal probe. It comes with two plugs one for guys just starting and one for the pros.

All interchangeable for one price.






















Next we have the ‘Grey Gun’.
























In see through tricot mesh, it dries quickly.
























Lastly the ‘Feminizer’ in nude. As modeled by K-Fed.
























A fem-style vagina-look suit for all men. A male to female transformation design.























Onlookers not only believe they are viewing a hot girl but that she might also be nude.

Sorry I Missed Your Call:

“Leave a message and I’ll get back with you.”

BEEP!

“Rochelle...I’m callin’ to give you a update on my roadtrip’n to Boston. I’m standin’ in Harvard Square and it’s sleetin’...well actually it’s kinda snow flurry’n...It’s fuckin’ cold as shit an snowin’ up here...dang it’s cold.”

CLICK!

It’s downright un-American for it to be snowing in the middle of Spring Break. Who goes North for the Spring time anyway?

Everbody done got the Sprang Fevah with the bi-kinis and the flip flops.

Pretty Pretty Pretty.

Everybody is so pretty this pretty Spring season even the ugly people are prettier. Pretty is “IN” this Spring.

How To Get Gulf Breeze Pretty:

Gulf Breeze Girl, Gulf Breeze Girl,
Livin’ in her Gulf Breeze Whirl...

Still working on the lyrics for that one a theme song for a show about rich Gulf Breeze beach girls.

They’re hot. No one is prettier than a Gulf Breeze girl.

No one does theme songs for TV shows anymore.

The Gulf Breeze girl is the resulting offspring of a refined Southern beauty and an imported Ivy League businessman. The genes just go together. The Gulf Breeze girl is radiant. She’s educated elsewhere but vacations at home...on the beach. The Sun is her make-up. It highlights her features it highlights her hair. she is Enhighlightened.

How To Get Her Look:

Simple ponytail, a frisky T, short shorts, flip flops, string bikini. Strip it all off and lie in the sun for four hours a day.

Expose and age skin from 10:00 A.M. till 12:00 P.M.

A light lunch and girl talk under the umbrella.

Return to the Sun from 2:00 P.M. till 4:00 P.M.

Everyday from March 5th till September 30th.


More Pretty Spring Pretty-Up Tips:

Live close to the beach.


Beachside Pedicure:

Go to the beach with your nail clippers.

Use the digger to remove funk from under your dingy toenails.

Snip off long winter growth and fling clippings into the air to feed the seagulls.

Strip naked and lie face down in the sand while a friend drags you from one end of the beach to the other.

The gentle exfoliating sand granules will slough off old dead skin cells and reveal shiny fresh new nails.

Add polish if so desired.


Required Beach Reading:

It has the best beach scene so it’s appropriate.























Required Beach Tune:

It has a good beat and you can dance to it.