12 on 12:

The weather has been frightful down here in the South with twelve straight days of freezing temperatures. I know I can here you all pitying me. You don’t realize that we can’t take the cold weather down here because we aren’t used to it.

It never snows instead it makes freezing rain. Freezing deadly rain. Shooting murderous icicles out of the air killing vagabonds. The thin blood curdles and kills homeless people that flew down here for the winter.

100% humidity molecules in the air freeze and become giant sheets of ice forcing you to drill holes to extract the oxygen. Cars become killing machines that decapitate cats with the fan blades. Bones snap like twigs. If you open the window you can hear peoples bones snapping if you survive the opening of the window.

Twelve dead plants! That’s what I have, twelve dead plants. One for each day. Nothing sadder than the death howl of a dying plant. A plant death rattle screaming bloody murder accusing you of the crime as it withers.

Make it stop...

Make it stop...

I can’t stand the sound of death moans.

Turn up the radio, drown out the sickly sound of death, be glad it isn’t you.

























R.I.P. Stag Horn Fern




















R.I.P. Boston Fern
























R.I.P. Elephant Ear
























R.I.P. Banana Tree



















R.I.P. Asparagus Fern
























R.I.P. Strange Purple Grass



















R.I.P. Canna Lilly



















R.I.P. Pretty Flowering Shrub
























R.I.P. Hibiscus



















R.I.P. Sedum



















R.I.P. Firecracker Plant



















R.I.P. Philodendron



















Shine on healing rays of the blue sky sun and warm up the dead.