Dating Advice:

So, let's say that you find yourself on a wildly exciting date with a handsome gentleman and through a course of cocktails and conversations you discover that his sexual proclivities are restricted to topping only. NO VERSATILITY! NO NEGOTIATION. The topic is strictly off limits. If this arrangement is agreeable then by all means proceed but make him pay the check before you leave.

If however, this arrangement is not agreeable then suggest that you go "dutch" on the drinks, then stamp his forehead, "Deco. B. Hole" as a warning to other admirers and patrons that this man's butt hole is purely decorative and nonfunctional.

From the Fine Folks at Fleshlight:

The Freaks Collection

SEX DREAM:

Last night I had a dream and you might say it was a nightmare. I was in some vague darkened hallway of an undisclosed location that resembled a bath house or sex club, not that I’m familiar with such places being the pure chaste unspoiled virginal type. Actually I’ve never been to a bath house or a sex club but I have been to peoples houses that feature sex rooms or dungeons and I have been asked upon occasion for pointers relating to the tasteful appointment of such.

Anyway in my dream there I was when a man approached me to have sex. I recognized him immediately as a celebrity. I haven’t thought of this person in years so it was odd that I would conjure him up in a dream much less be invited to have sex with him. I suppose it’s fitting as I don’t necessarily enjoy the attentions of the stereotypical beauty or the gym bunny.

He does have a rather nice frame and or possible build and I could always close my eyes. I awoke with a full on woody and a bewildering shame washed over me having contemplated a sexual experience with Weird Al Yankovic. This feeling has lingered with me throughout the day.