Destin Lady:

Pulling into the exit lane a gleaming white sedan approaches from behind. Not just any sedan it’s a white Mercedes with tan leather interior. The palest of ash blonde in a below the chin classic bob. Oversized Jackie O. sunglasses. Black and white horizontal striped sleeveless top with a tan colored sweater over her shoulders. A manicured hand with a blinding diamond ring casts a faceted reflective glare. Raising it up to her lips she takes a long drag from her thin feminine 120 cigarette. Leaning toward the window and staring up at the sky for a moment she lets out a puff of smoke. She begins speaking into her phone.

“Liza honey I’m pullin’ in to that bed and bath place, did you want white sheets in yours and Pierce’s bedroom? Oh well if he wets the bed then I say cream. We just got off the tennis cawts and I’m meetin’ the gals for lunch at McGuires. Oh no I won’t see him till latah...he’s playin’ golf with...He did? That’s just mawvalous tell him MiMi has a special prize for him then. O.K. hon I’ll call ya latah I’m meetin’ my decaratah at Seaside...it all sounds so good...it’ll look jus like a magazine. Oh no we’ll be on a cruise in Mawch so tell‘em we cain’t possibly be they’ah...Bye now.”

The light turns green and she speeds away toward her destination. Secure in the thought that she’s rich. Bad things simply don’t happen to people who are rich. A certain satisfaction is gleaned from knowing that others around her hate her. What’s the point if you don’t experience large doses of envy. It’s a perfect life.

My Wild Kingdom:

So I had a lovely staycation on the Gulf of Mexico. The jellyfish invasion that has plagued the beaches this summer subsided for a few days and allowed for nice refreshing dips in the surf from time to time.

















While mincing along the shores I happened upon a sea turtle nest filled with a clutch of eggs. I must say we were simply stuffed with the culinary creations that came of them. Sea turtle soup, sea turtle egg salad, sea turtle egg omelets, the list just goes on and on. They were so yummy and tender!






















Just this morning I looked out at my prolifically productive pecan trees to find the rare and elusive white albino squirrel pilfering my pecans. I must say we were simply stuffed with the culinary creations that came of him. Squirrel tail and neck bone soup, squirrel drumsticks, squirrel sandwiches, the list just goes on and on. He was so yummy and tender!


















Before anyone gets their PETA panties in a bunch, no cruelty was experienced by any animals or wildlife. They were all dispatched with a humane swift crack to the neck. Just kidding...Just kidding or am I?

Sk8terz, Pizza, A Hospital And Journey:

I had lunch yesterday with my brother who was visiting from out of town. We dined at a local pizzeria that has a cool vibe and atmosphere that’s located inside of a re-purposed hospital that was abandoned in 1965 . The old Sacred Heart Hospital opened in 1915 and was built in an imposing Romanesque architecture in the Gothic Revival style that features stone work and arched door and window casings. The building now houses several restaurants, businesses and a small theater that stages productions. I have eaten at this restaurant many times including a lunch with a former employer who has lived in the city his entire eighty years. While we were dining he looked up from his meal and glanced around the room and stated, “You know, this used to be the morgue.” Not a very appetizing statement but greatly added to the creepiness of the dimly lit dining experience.
















Anyway, my brother and I were seated at the bar enjoying drinks and music waiting for our meals to arrive when two teenaged sk8ter punks walked in with their sk8te boards in tow tucked under their arms. These little guys were cool sporting baggy pants, ragged t-shirts, unkempt hair and ball caps. They checked out the game room first for their friends but eventually settled in a booth directly behind us. Our bartender was engaged in a conversation with a couple that featured snippets like, “It smelled like ass,” and “My dream is to sail around the world,” and “Isn’t that the best cd ever, it’s perfect.” I was letting my eyes wander around the room which is sub-basement level admiring the antiseptic white subway style tiles that wrap around the room at a chair rail height and above that the familiar hospital green paint that’s flaky and peeling. I noticed an ipod that was plugged into the sound system and at the moment was broadcasting some ambient sounds.






















The two little guys had ordered their meals and were sitting patiently waiting for their pizza to be served. I hadn’t really noticed but after awhile the music changed and the song Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey had suddenly come across the airwaves ending the ambient cool jazz tunes that had previously subliminally gone unnoticed. The melody and the lyrics started coming back to me:

Don`t Stop Believin`
Just a small town girl living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

I have always been indifferent about Journey and their songs. Remembering high school nights driving around town looking for things to do and listening to the radio with friends occupying every available seat in the car. When Journey’s Open Arms would come on the girls would always squeal with excitement and crank the volume full blast. I’ve never liked the song. I’ve never been a fan.




























Enjoying my meal as best I could trying to ignore the Journey soundtrack that accompanied it I couldn’t help but overhear the two sk8ter punks singing loudly for the entire room to hear. They had ignored the song up until it got to that particular verse then they chimed in placing emphasis on particular words:

“A singer in a Smoky room the Smell of wine and Cheap perfume,”

They were shaking their heads and holding invisible microphones as if they had sung this verse for crowds before. The whole room turned around and laughed and with that they produced some cash and dropped it on the table exclaiming to the waitress, “Keep the change!”

Big spenders.