Secondhand Book Club:

Secondhand Book Club:
Book reports of secondhand books reported in a secondgrade fashion

Secondhand Book Title:
Blackening the skies,
putting up fences















Lynn Cheney has written yet another book and of course as we all know she has so much to say about being a good and responsible American. This book is chockfull of patriotic ponderings and self righteous right wing ruminations and issues such as silencing sexually suggestive songs. She’s a “Lady” who I can’t ever imagine going to the bathroom, smoking a spliff, spanking Dickie, or getting soused and shooting up the shanty. Besides I’m sure her mother the deputy sheriff would never approve of such scabrous solicitude. Feast your senses while perusing the chapter titles of the memoirs and stupendous secrets from a sage and suspiciously shadowy “Second Lady.”

Chapters:

1. Cheerleading, an early indoctrination in imperious, pushy and overpowering practices.
2. Forcing others to conform to your ideals, and other joys of despotic domineering.
3. How to develop a keen sense of prudish, restrictive, and controlling behaviors.
4. Dating a dud and making him into something, or how I became Mrs. Dick Cheney.
5. Censorship, deleting publications and banning theatrical performances, can be fun.
6. Imposing influence and making profit, my life on the board of directors for Lockheed.
7. “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” the oppression, repression, and suppression of the homosexual child.
8. Salacious secrets for surviving the shame of a “Shooting Party” scandal.

DISCLAIMER:
(Veracity of this book report is highly unlikely and any similarities to any actual book are purely happenstance. Apologies in advance for those who may find this distasteful and or offensive, it could easily have been a book about you.)

Secondhand Book Club:

Secondhand Book Club:
Book reports of secondhand books reported in a secondgrade fashion

Secondhand Book Title:
Nickel or a Dime Bag?

















Self-help books can be full of useful disinformation, so instead of reading or writing one why not roll up a fatty and let your miserable life’s problems melt into the sofa. “Nickel or a Dime Bag?” is just such a book. A recounting of the super stoned high times and the super squalid low times of a super trailer park cooze. Remember, Why write a book? When you can just buy one for five or ten dollars. Better yet, self-help-yourself to a nickel or a dime bag.

Chapters:

1. Waiting tables at a truck stop greasy spoon don’t get ya high.
2. Asking diners’ if they got a blunt can get you fired.
3. Blowin’ the short order cook can get ya high if’n he can get a hold of Tyrone.
4. Being a truck stop lot lizard is a “lot” more lucrative and ya might get laced.
5. Thinking ‘bout your old man beatin’ ya for gettin’ fired can harsh your buzz.
6. Hitchen’ a ride with hippies who are “holding” gets ya really high.
7. Inhalin’ hash with hippies leads to harder drugs and a life of crime.
8. Puttin’ out to get doped in the pokey passes the time.
9. Can’t write no more, comin’ down. N e e d t o g e t h i.

DISCLAIMER:
(Veracity of this book report is highly unlikely and any similarities to any actual book are purely happenstance. Apologies in advance for those who may find this distasteful and or offensive, it could have easily been a book about you.)

Secondhand Book Club:

Secondhand Book Club:
Book reports of secondhand books reported in a secondgrade fashion

Secondhand Book Title:
Truly Disgraceful

Biographies about famous people written posthumously are always to be suspected for lying, telling lies, making up lies, and spreading vicious lies. Lay witness to “Truly Disgraceful” a truly inspired book title retelling The Memoirs of a Hollywood/Monaconian Queen. Discover while reading the chapter titles the many reasons why Grace Kelly was Truly Disgraceful.






Chapters:

1: I was Born Really, Really Pretty Icy and Manipulative.
2: My Spineless Mother and Father, Adventures in Extortion.
3: How to Make Boys Sleep with You and do Exactly What You Want.
4: I Slept My Way to Hollywood.
5: Blackmailing, Back Stabbings and Scandal, or How I became a Star.
6: The Sizzling Succubus Screen Siren of Hollywood.
7: Sleeping and Seducing Royalty.
8: The Future Queen and Royal Wedding Tips.
9: Sovereignty/Idolatry, Successful Practices of “The Oppressive Over Lord”.
10: Sleeping around Your Kingdom and Producing Royal Heirs.
11: Raising Promiscuous Princesses Gracefully.
12: The Art of Royal Assassination, Political Plotting, and Intrigue.
13: Cliff Dwelling, Murder and Motoring at High Altitudes.

DISCLAIMER:
(Veracity of this book report is highly unlikely and any similarities to any actual book are purely happenstance. Apologies in advance for those who may find this distasteful and or offensive, it could have easily been a book about you. Don‘t wanna hear how the dead can‘t defend themselves...duh...because they‘re...uh... dead. I‘m actually a huge Grace Kelly fan.)