Showing posts with label Fabulous:. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fabulous:. Show all posts

Pedicab:


















Pedicab...what's a pedicab? Immediately conjured images of a luxurious cab ride through a glamorous city while receiving a pedicure come to mind. How chic would that be? Imagine a filthy taxi driven by an immigrant that doesn’t speak English and his equally filthy wife crouched on the floorboard rasping away at bunions while zooming through the streets.

There’s a longing for the good old days when maids performed those chores and everything was full service. Many sore feet sorely miss them, as they now have to walk under their own power chipping toenail polish in the process.

Why in China it’s certain that this service still exists in rickshaw fashion. A pimped out mani-pedi rickshaw, it’s like a spa on wagon wheels. Nobody pulls a rickshaw like a Chinaman. Nobody paints a nail like a Chinawoman. The two obviously go together.



Retarded:

















Ever have an off day? Nothing you do turns out right and you feel like Eeyore who says, “Why bother it’ll all turn out bad anyway.”

That was today for me and to make it worse the whole show was filled with Polly Perfect doing circles around my tired ass.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Polly asked and then capped it off with, “Are you RETARDED?”

Fuck Off Polly!

Maybe I have a life filled with mystery and strangers that keep me up till all hours of the evening. I’m sure you wouldn’t understand, you the one who is actually retarded with an IQ of 75 who enjoys color coding her closet. Actually enjoys it!

Maybe I thrive on drama...drama of all sorts of sordid salacious scandal...I can’t get enough of it really. Sorry Polly even when I don’t say a word I’m far more interesting. Lets face it Polly even 20 years your senior I still look better than you and Polly for 22...you don’t look so good.

No you're Retarded. No you are. No you're Retarded. No you are.

Ice Ice Baby:









Tonight was a Disney dream come true. High School Musical I & II On Ice that’s right ON ICE. I’m not sure if it was because they skated the entire production on ICE or because the entire production was skating while loaded on ICE. I'm still unclear on that...unclear like being loaded on ICE.






















Either way it was sheer heaven, an auditorium filled with 12 year old girls screaming at the top of their lungs for the make shift Troy Bolten or booing the fabulous Shar’pay. Hmmm...when the audience booed Shar’pay I found myself cheering...why?...why? You ask?...because she’s Fabulous!


















...Ice tea imported from England, Lifeguards imported from Spain, Towels imported from Turkey, Turkey imported from Maine...it just doesn’t get any more fabulous than that...wait is this thing still turned on?...turn it off...for Christ's sake, turn the damn thing off already...

FABULOUS