My New Coat of Many Colors:

Sunday the temperature plunged from mid 60's to mid 30’s within the space of four hours. Let me just explain that yes it’s almost always sunny and pretty here but we suffer from the most unbearable humidity The evil humidity can make a temperature of 30 feel like 21 degrees. It is also bone chilling!

There is not enough heat or clothing or flames to warm a body consumed by bone chilling frozen humidity as it permeates your very soul. With that said my freezing cold bony fingers are slowly tapping away at a keyboard typing this desperate message; one of my frozen fingers just cracked and snapped in two. Wiping that visual from your ambivalent and uncaring memories let me tell you what I did yesterday to keep warm and be creative at the same time.

Earlier this year I went to the annual Hospice rummage sale which is like an antique store with bargain prices and all for a good cause. While browsing the men’s clothing racks I stumbled on a lightweight white cotton jacket with a now defunct but prominent local men’s store (Don Allen’s Men’s Furnishings) label sewn inside. I picked it up for a dollar and thought nothing of it except that I wanted to dye it. It’s a straight cut button up from the 60’s or 70’s that really did not interest me except that it was white.

During the holidays I received a gift card from my brother (thanks Scott) to be used at Hobby Lobby. I bought a basket full of dye with exotic names like Evening Blue, Tangerine and Fuchsia. I covered the kitchen table in plastic wrap, boiled up some dye in squeeze bottles and began to ruin my pristine white jacket with stains. Rubber gloves, rubber bands and an hour-long dye bath of 3 packages of black resulted in my new coat with splashes of red, green, tangerine and yellow flower explosions.





















Also there is nothing quite like stirring a boiling pot of black dye to keep you warm and for the ultimate facial.

UPDATE: Just finished a shirt.

How To Tie Dye:

A stylish poncho as seen on such chic trend setting fashion mavens as Jacqueline Onassis and Ali MacGraw. This poncho sold for $125.00 at Halston’s in 1970's money, why that would be like $125.00 in today’s money when you factor in stagflation.














Swim shirts are the ultimate accessory for today’s beach going girl, how smart that the trend is back in style. Draw extra attention to your mating region with flattering splashes of color that mimic a large vulva like opening.















Or fish...remind that special someone that there’s fish down there. Angels work too, it’s like a subtle hint at the heavenly experience that awaits them.

How To Tie Dye:

I have been interested in tie dye since I was a teen many years ago. My friend Patrick’s sister Candy is an unconventional conventionist hippie type who would dye the most wonderful bolts of fabric and then stitch them into halters, sun dresses, scarves, hats, pants, etc. On the fourth of July one year she dyed a men's dress shirt red white and blue for me and people stopped me in the streets to ask where I got it. I would point Candy out to them and then she would take orders and measurements.

Years later I asked her for her secrets. I couldn't stand what passed for tie dye in those or even these days, it’s just so loud and ugly and obnoxious. Her stuff was subtle, alluring and original. I had to know her secret. She went to her studio and came back with a pamphlet entitled, “How To Tie Dye...As seen in Look.”

It was like the tie dye bible. Starring on the cover and the following photo spread was none other than my favorite hot tempered Nicaraguan beauty, Barbara Carrera, modeling some of the most vividly dyed clothing in the world. Inside I discovered that a couple, Will and Eileen Richardson, were responsible for this look and whose work can be found in the collection of the Cooper-Hewitt museum. They have also won a Coty American Fashion Critic’s Award, a Vogue American Fabric Award, as well as working with RIT on experimental tie dying. They were commissioned to create dyed velvets for Halston which were fashioned into stylish boots by Herbert Levine.

So now friends I pass the heavy torch to you, the true secrets of tie dye. Use them well. I’m stingy and I'm lazy so I will parcel out the designs and instructions sporadically as I get around to scanning the pages. The shopping list below should be enough to keep you busy for a while.

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