Seduction:

Some might remember this from last years Abra Cadabra posts. It’s extra special creepy. Get your copy before it disappears again. Check the comments.

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Remember not everyone you meet is quite who they say they are. The mysteries of human connection are superficial and projected. Once that is determined it’s easy to see beyond the facade of everyday existence and through to the inner being. Assumption becomes question and answers become insight.

Who am I kidding? We’re all freaks at least I hope there are still freaks out there on this All Hallows Eve. The experience of tricking is still inherent and the experience of wanting to grant a treat is still universal.

Be more aware strangers. Be more aware of the difference between a good stranger and a bad stranger. Be more aware of being taught the concept to be afraid of ALL strangers. Not all is what it seems. Some strangers are enchanters.

Congratulations graduating witches of 2008.

Final ceremony,

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 12

Enchanters



Graduating merit badge:

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Never chew off your arm to be free of a rancid romance, instead rid yourself of an unwanted lover(s) magically with an earthquake spell. The break is painful and sad. Unless you rip through lovers with reckless abandon like I do. Then ridding yourself of them becomes a constant daily ritual. Magically trap them and magically spit them out. It’s simple really when you are an empty soulless succubus. Trust me it gets easier after the first dozen or so.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 11

Earthquake Spell

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Bondage is one of my favorite activi…um…subjects. Tonight make that man yours and yours alone. Be careful because you become his and his alone as well. There aint nothing worse than waking up to a troll that you are forever emotionally bondaged to. Just repeat after me…We are one…We are one…We are one…

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 10

Bondage Spell

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Seduction is a talent I already possess and as such I have no need for an enchantment. I like STRANGE. To be bonded with another for all eternity would be a manifestation of HELL. I do however understand the nature of infatuation. If you relax and let infatuation run its course, in six months it will all be over.

If after six months you find infatuation has turned to LOVE then by all means indulge in this type of spell. Beware these seduction spells have permanence. The link is binding. FOREVER.

Tonight we graduate. Senior Witches. Able to will another’s love with magic. Don’t blame me when he becomes fat and offensive and never leaves your side and makes a lasting impression upon your mattress.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 9

Seduction



Senior Witch Merit Badge:

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Get out your needles and threads ladies this one involves handiwork. With every stitch remember compassion! With every stitch recall joy and emotion! 100 tiny stitches. That’s a lot of work ya’ll...I’m about to go half blind from this tiny stitch work...just pricked my finger...Damn it...this had better work...I can’t believe the price of purple silk thread these days...

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 8

Tender Love Spell

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Charmed Love is the only way to go these days. After several relationships with control freaks who are obsessed with “changing” you (beware of those) take matters into your own magical hands. Perform this enchantment and watch as those that previously spurned your love become hopelessly infatuated. Now it’s your turn to do the spurning. Leave them hanging with no explanation and an insatiable incurable lust for your unreturned affection. Be careful as this spell is irreversible.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 7

Romantic Adventure

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Now I find out the hook. I can’t just be a part time spell caster I have to do it full time and I’m so lazy. That’s why I wanted to know witchcraft in the first place. Magically make the house clean itself. Make myself fresh from a shower without ever leaving my bed. Gosh typing that just made me want to go and take to my bed.

Magic flowers...that’s the answer. I know what my magic flower will be, more like magic weed. If I get good enough at this stuff I can magically conjure up quantities of magic weed. Right after a little magic nap. After tonight’s lesson we graduate into Junior witches, here’s your merit badge below.


Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 6

Amulets

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Let’s all just get naked and make a pile shall we! We’ve graduated from beginners into horny sophomores that have sex...with groups. This is my favorite lesson and it packs in so much information about the customs and etiquette and social behavior one faces when servicing large crowds. It’s very specific about the number of guests you invite but it doesn’t say anything about you know...who you should invite and the quality of those invited or who gets to be the piñata.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 5

Orgies

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

So demons are behind bad hair days, hurricane Katrina, my cool lover, my haunted house and that bitch at work? I never knew. I always thought demons were a bad thing. Why not invite them into your life and enslave them to do your bidding and tell your future!

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 4

The Demon Spell For Energy

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Oh mighty Isis! The Isis full moon ring for magical protection is a powerful spell that grants the wearer of said ring special favours. I am the cosmos...I am the wind! The ring will surround you with magical vibrations and draw susceptible sensual partners into your orbit. Wear your ring at all times. Oh zephyr winds which blow on high, lift me now, so I can fly. Oh yeah try to remember that the ring does not I repeat does not make you able to FLY. I learned that the hard way.

After tonight’s lesson we will have accomplished and mastered three of the most dangerous spells and have become eligible for the beginner witch merit badge. Oh goody goody. Please send a self addressed stamped envelope and thirty five dollars (to cover the expense of the merit badge) to me. NOW! The badge is truly beautiful as seen below.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 3

The Isis full moon ring for magical protection

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

This lesson teaches you how to win friends and influence others the easy way with magic of course. Why bother to improve your interpersonal skills and hygiene when magic incantations can do the job for you. I have a feeling this spell is very much in play with today’s Presidential candidates.

Is everyone ready? Let's begin:

Lesson 2

The Self Fascination Ritual For Increased Power

Abra Cadabra Lessons:

Practicing witchcraft has long been a hobby of mine for centuries now. Not a day goes by that I don’t cast a spell or recite an incantation or brew up a potion. Got to keep a steady head one never knows when a necrotic palsy curse might be called upon in a hasty fashion. I like to practice rhyming games to sharpen my tongue like pronouncing everything with long vowels and a mouth full of rocks.

















Lets listen in to the mistress who must not be named for she is a real true witch and very much alive. Never a good idea to tangle with a superior source but if you are at all interested in such existential matters of matter, time and space then by all means get a pad and a pencil handy. Gather the ingredients such as the assorted roots, warts and banes and get out your cauldrons. Let me warn you that these magic passages work! But if they don’t then let me know when it all goes haywire so I can have a good laugh at your expense.

Everyone ready? Let’s begin:

Lesson 1.

Introduction to magic - Gods