Problem Solving:

It would seem that the USA is in dire condition, what we need is a great jolly omnipotent despot. I volunteer for the position.

Proclamations:

First on the agenda is health care reform. All hospitals, out-patient, and nursing homes are now, self serve establishments with easy access to treadmills.

Secondly, anyone deemed to be obese (twenty pounds overweight) must submit to treadmill duty.

Thirdly, all prisons, penitentiaries, juvenile delinquent facilities, schools, hospitals and nursing homes are to be converted to treadmill-mills. Death row inmates and the elderly must serve a lifetime sentence of 24 hour around the clock treadmill duty without the possibility of treadmill parole.

Fourthly, the people of the United States now own the automotive industry and as such are required to ‘build their own cars’ and car factories are to be converted to giant treadmill conveyor belt assembly lines powered by treadmills.

Fifthly, all office space and working conditions must be outfitted or equipped with treadmill accessibility.

Sixthly, the outdated ‘power grid’ structure will now be powered entirely by treadmills. All treadmills must be connected to the power grid at all times.

Problems, solved.

New treadmill proclamations are to be issued by the dozens on a daily basis. Please turn your attention to the viewer screens mounted above your treadmills.

That’s all for now, please continue with your treadmilling.