Sooooo.....

That time when the neighbors, Martin and Carol, showed up for the clothing optional pool party and had too many Margaritas...

Homo Eros:

I'm porny!

I have the urge to post porn. Never really posted that much except for illustration purposes but once you tell me I can't then I really want to.

70's leather porn is especially a favorite! Whenever I see it I wonder about the models? Are they still with us? It was just moments away from the pandemic of A.I.D.S. Some are still here like Bruno but many perished. It's about the sexual revolution and the free lifestyle of men willing to pose for such pictures. Surely they lived the lifestyle as well. I was there out and about in 1980. One day it was that gay cancer in New York and San Francisco the next day it was in my own bar.



Lesbian porn! Is that even a subject? In this picture from some odd trade show (do lesbians do trade?) A WAC'ish stewardess prudishly inspects a futurisitic version of her chic uniform, a wildly inappropriate short skirt, as if the fabric concerned her. You know she wants to slip her pinky toward the giant camel toe. Miss Camel Toe seems to dig it.



I'm thinking this weekend is just the right weather to wear my biker coat and a pleated frilly number. I'm tired of the millennials setting the tone. Fuck That Shit! I want some Bohemian Hedonism and a nice little tea dance filled with 70's leather bikers lurking in the shadows. Some Lesbian trade will round it out nicely.

Is it Porn or is it Art?

I figured I'd take the time to post as much porn art as possible before the encroaching March deadline.

Down at Ray's Ranch:

Where the clothing is optional.

There's lots of activities,

like walking,

and jogging,

running races,

running like a girl,

and rock climbing.

At the gym, 

you can hire the services of personal trainers, 

Julio, who's preoccupied taking selfies and scouting Grindr, 

and Horace who's always available.

The busy clubhouse is a nice place to greet other ranch guests.

Cozily decorated and welcoming.

Luther is your bartender.

Meet Lonnie, 

Lyle,

and Lester.

Take a dip in the pool and have a chat with,

Tit Pig Pete,

Pedophile Paddy,

and Phil Robertson.

The spacious cabana offers shade,

where Clive helms the Bar-B-Que.

Over at the sauna, 

you'll find Craig, and the Randys,

Randy,

and Randy.

Mosey on over to the barn,

for a riding session with Dean,

Otho, 

and Erple.

Just beware of Horace when the moon is full.

Who Wore it Better?

Gay Married:

Saturday was busy, honey. Honey is the, old but new again, catch all term of endearment around town except that it is pronounced extremely southern, hon’eyh. Anyway hon’eyh, after a long day gettin’ da crinimals outta jail, I raced home to do a quick change and go to a commitment ceremony. The couple are old friends celebrating the day they met and fell in love twenty years ago. And hon’eyh, it was a big to-do. To-do’s are big around here. It’s never just a to-do it’s always a big to-do.

Mainly peoplelated by North Hill residents. I live on the other hill, East Hill. So, I was flattered to have been invited, since there are railroad tracks involved in the division of both hills, if you get my drift. Both Hills are desirable but the North Hillers seem to think better of their hill over the other. Then there is Gulf Breeze, a part of the city on the other side of the bay and in another county surrounded by water and closer to the beach. Breezer’s are superior to Hillers. It’s complicated.

“Happy is the bride the sun shines upon…” It rained and rained and rained. “Rain is good for the farmers, so I hear, hon’eyh.” The dress code for this event was not publicized and it is after all post Labor Day, so I opted for a blue suit with a white unbuttoned dress shirt, no tie, especially since I had all of three minutes to change. Most of the guests were men wearing what I call the Panhandle Bahamas Look, gauzey pastel un-tucked shirts with gauzey pants and sandals. I’m so glad I didn’t wear this look, BECAUSE IT WAS RAINING!

Both sets of parents were in attendance, which everyone found charming. This town is very GAY and GAY FRIENDLY. (Yes I’m typing in caps because I’m yelling at you.) All the straight neighbors were there and they love us, also we increase property values. But hon’eyh, it was like Grindr up in there. The pairs were flying out the door. “Did you see Vance hook up with Kevin?” “Eww.” It was like playing a big ole gay match game.

Things I overheard myself saying;

“I said Morlocks not Daleks.”
“If she says hon’eyh one more time.”
“Actually no,  I don’t know what you mean. Because you say, ‘know what I mean?’ every other breath...know what I mean?”
“And please, stop trying to vary your incoherent ramblings by interchanging, ‘you feel me?’ with, ‘know what I mean.’ Please!”
“No. I’m not interested in a hook-up as you say.”
“Please go away.”

In addition hon’eyh, there was a very handsome Jason Statham knock-off in attendance. I thought I would include a knock-off picture of him for the end of this post.

And Then I Said Go Fuck Yourself:

And He was Hung Like an Elephant:

From the Fine Folks at Fleshlight:

The Freaks Collection

I Need a Bath:

And new play clothes.

Would You Like Some Wine with Your Cheese?