Reverse Psychology:

With all the celebrity reverse mortgages available these days it’s hard to know which one to pick.

The Robert Wagner one seems promising but I don’t trust him. You know…after he killed Joanne Woodward in that movie where he pushes her off the ledge of the justice of the peace building and well you know…drowning Natalie Wood and all…





The Fonzi reverse mortgage looks interesting but he sort of mooched off the Cunningham’s for years rent free on Happy Days…I don’t think he knows anything about paying a mortgage let alone getting money back on one.





The Fred Thompson one seems the most plausible but after his pathetic run for the White House I don’t think he could be elected dog catcher but he seems likely to have paid his rent.





I think I should just pay my actual mortgage for another twenty years before I think about reversing it.

Besides I’m still undecided on which scooter company to choose. I like the Hover Round because you can spin 360 on a dime and visit the Grand Canyon with a great probability of rolling off the edge of the Grand Canyon and plunging to your death. Come to think of it, wouldn’t Robert Wagner be better suited to spokes model the Hover Round scooter?





Anyway I’m way to busy trying to reach an equitable settlement with J.G. Wentworth. BECAUSE IT’S MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!





But first I need to plunge off the Grand Canyon in my Hover Round so I can get a wrongful death lawsuit going so I can get a settlement.

I think I should stop watching the commercials during The Price is Right and Matlock.