It's Raining in Florida:

Somewhere in a dingy trailer park in Oklahoma, Anita Bryant weeps tremendous tears for the children of Florida.

Sophistication:

Mississippi legislature approved S.B. 2681 yesterday. The bill reads “State action or an action by any person based on state action shall not burden a person’s right to exercise of religion, even if the burden results from a rule of general applicability.”

The bill leaves it open to employers and individuals claiming rights to discriminate on any basis — race, religion, gender, perceived national origin, etc., — as long as they can claim a religious reason for doing so.

Okay...Okay.

I grew up in Mississippi. It’s a beautiful state with a rich history and a defiant streak. When they rounded up the negroes and lynched them, that was bad. When Elvis or Tammy Wynette and countless others had a compulsion to get out of the Delta and do something big, that was good.

Now they want to make discrimination legal. I think it’s safe to say that most of the country just assumed it already was legal to discriminate in Mississippi. Why now? Why are they digging into this issue?

It’s not intolerance or bigotry it’s about sex. This country has an unnatural fixation on homosexual intercourse. Whenever you are invariably outed as a “homosexual” the person being informed about this matter automatically thinks about two men having butt sex. Lets take the sex out of the identification. 

Homosexual is the clinical term. I identify as Gay. I don’t go around saying, “Oh...you’re a heterosexual.” Why? Because it’s unsophisticated. People have all kinds of strange proclivities. Try to develop some sophistication about such issues.

As for Mississippi’s latest ignorance, I’ve always thought that gay business owners could do far worse damage with such a law on the books. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m free of prejudice. I’m just a little more tolerant and sophisticated about it.

But don’t piss me off! Or I’ll refuse my services to you and your unwed pregnant daughter.

Imagine targeting the Mississippi Legislature with a boycott of services provided by gay people. No more hair appointments, no more new curtains, no more new design or construction. 

I’m also going to be so bold and claim with no factual evidence, statistics or made up percentages that, “Gay People Invented The Arts!” That’s right. THE ARTS! Music, Theater, Dance, Fine Art and Literature. All invented by GAY PEOPLE.

I think God made the homosexual for this reason alone. That and we cut down on population but think how boring the world would be without us and the arts. Stop fucking with God’s special creature.

But I think a boycott would be mean and gloating in the face of inevitable victory for equality. Forcing zealots to fly the Gay Unfriendly Flag would be on our part an act of poor taste and retaliation. But it would be so much fun. Instead I think I’ll sit on the lawn like Evita and watch with sophistication as the LGBTQ invade their country clubs.

And now let’s hear a little something about sophistication from the sponsors of this post, 

The Ritchie Sisters.

Homosectionals:

Cock Blockers:

There are numerous ways in which the cock may be blocked.

Gay Bar Edition:





















The cell phone: You will be chatting away to some prospective cock maybe even buy him a drink when all of the sudden the cell phone rings. No cock for you tonight, boyfriend has to rescue his girlfriend from her latest invented emergency. Two cock blockers in one move? Boyfriend came with protection tonight.























The girlfriend: Steer clear from this cock. Boyfriend hasn’t made up his mind if he’s gay or straight. Sure he walks and talks like gay cock but girlfriend hovers closely like an electric fence about his neck. More than likely she suffers low self-esteem and harbors feelings and resentment for the recently announced “I’m Gay” cock. Don’t waste your time she will block your every move.



















The stalkers: Say you find the new bartending hunk attractive? Take a glance at the sad sack patrons that have lined up around the bar for his entertainment. He doesn’t want to lose their tips. Unless he is specifically interested in you forget about it. It’s not worth the battle with the sad sacks. Besides they may become potential cock in the future so don’t isolate them for a lousy lay with a bartender who probably has a little cock anyway.

















The pack: There he is walking through the door looking like a million dollar cock, but wait he seems to have brought along a gay entourage. One by one they take their places, the wing man, the right hand man, and the three stooges fill in behind. The leader of the pack makes eye contact with you...and several others. This cock is a challenge and one that suffers from extreme ego. It’s best not to attempt a coup unless you have an entourage yourself willing to play offense and pick off the sycophants. Besides you will be in for a night of platitudes; you’re so smart, you’re so handsome, you’re little cock is so cute...



















The lovelorn: You went on a few dates with this cock but after the three date rule he never produced a cock. Does he even have a cock? You take a cock blocking measure and say a few niceties and return to your location. Mr. Right Cock strikes up a conversation with you when Mr. Lovelorn sends him a drink from across the room. Mr. Right Cock acknowledges the drink with a nod and resumes conversation with you. Then Mr. Lovelorn suddenly appears and puts his hand on his hip and lisps, “WELL whoth ya friend?” Mr. Right Cock introduces himself and thanks him for the drink, but Mr. Lovelorn doesn’t leave and takes up residence next to Mr. Right Cock. Do Not Leave the two alone for one second. If you do Mr. Lovelorn will move in and whisper details of your boring dates, “He just stopped! He never calls!”. When you return you notice that Mr. Right Cock has relocated across the room and Mr. Lovelorn is watching your every move. Best to call it a night.



















The stealer: So you're smoldering in the corner seat when a flighty bar acquaintance walks over and blatantly points out the cock he’s after. He slyly encourages you to do the same. Don’t Do It. He just pointed out a stranger. What he’s really after is the cock you are after because he doesn’t know what he wants until you tell him. Take a preemptive cock block and point out a stranger yourself all the while concealing the true cock intention. He’ll be so busy trying to steal your cock that he won’t notice that you picked up Mr. Right Cock and left.

Coming up next:

Well that was fun wasn’t it?

Move down on the couch please,

Moving right along,

Have you been a Mean Dirty Pirate lately?

“Yes I suppose you could say that.”

Have you exhibited mean behavior recently?

“Yes.”

Have you exhibited Dirty behavior recently?

“Most definitely.”

Have you exhibited Pirate behavior recently?

“Yes I intend to.”

Enlighten us and explain please.

“I intend to Pirate a video of Jennifer Holiday’s free concert at the Mobile Alabama Pride Festival and Parade on Saturday. Which is an odd thing for me to be attending when I have no pride. I can just feel how jealous all of you must be to hear this news because it just doesn’t get any Gayer than Mobile Alabama...‘And I am telling you....I’m goin’ ...to the best gay parade I ever know’d."