These Are A Few Of My Favorite Beads:

So many things to boast about lately. Like did you know that Pensacola is 450 years old? Oh I boasted that already? Did you know that Mobile Alabama invented Mardi Gras and that it spread to Pensacola THEN New Orleans? I didn’t think so. The Gulf coast is nothing but a bunch of drunks.

They sell liquor everywhere around here. Some liquor stores have little bistro tables to relax neighborhood lushes while swilling poisons. Any excuse to wander about the city and drink alcohol. Every holiday turns this city into a weeklong bacchanal of imbibery and Mardi Gras is the Main Event.

This year I only drank six out of the last seven days and I have plenty of fine beads to show for it. See in order to get the good beads you have to ‘show it’. That’s right you pull down your underdraw’rs and show’em your peepee. You’d be surprised how easy it comes to you the more you drink.

I got lost in the downtown parade for days and days. It started last Tuesday. I just got home tonight. It was like Woodstock but with beads. We got trapped by throngs of bead zombies pushing their way in against the crowd. You have to feed them beads...they eat beads you know. We managed to make it out alive surviving on moon pies, orange soda and lots of liquor.

Happy Mardi Gras Ever’body, Thank God for Ash Wendstday.