I Believe in Double Standards:

I believe in recycling, I never do it but I believe in it nevertheless.

I also believe the neighbors should pick up after their pets especially when they use my lawn for a restroom.

I don’t do it but I believe others should.

I believe in helping the homeless too.

I don’t do it but I believe in helping them.

I believe the homeless should pick up after themselves when they use my lawn for a restroom.

I’ve decided to help them in this respect.

I’ve conveniently installed a toilet on my neighbor’s side lawn.

The toilet will remain functional through the Florida Homeless Wintering Season.

It should drastically cut down on the Homeless yard bombs!

I know I know I’m a shoo-in for Sainthood what with all my tireless beliefs...