Crazy Eyed Lurch:

Sorry I’ve been unexpectedly teleconferencing away from home. Lets get right down to business, shall we.

What happens to models after surviving, ‘America’s Next Top Model’?

Are they flung out the doors forced to fend for themselves on the streets like dumb animals?

These...these are the questions that plague me while telecommuting along highway ‘bloody 98’.

I search the billboards looking for America’s Next Top Model telefamiliar faces. At last I think I found one toiling away in the harsh lights of the Gulf Coast billboard signage.

So there was Lurch smiling away and beckoning teleconsumers to come spend their money at the Silver Sands Factory Stores...The nation's largest Designer Outlet Center in the entire nation, I’ll have you know.

Let me take you back to America’s Next TeleModel cycle 11 episode 13, Where Paulina Porizkova made telemention of telemodel hopeful, McKey, that, “See she does have this Lurch thing about her”.

When watching the episode to refresh my memory I found that it wasn’t the way I remembered it. I took the liberty of editing the results to make them more sinister. Just the way I remember them to be.

I couldn’t have agreed more with Paulina. I wasn’t able to put my finger on it properly until Paulina told me so.


Is this Lurch?

Even if proven wrong I insist that this IS Lurch!

Or a Lurch-alike.


  1. Ironically, I wondered the same thing a while back and found out to my horror:

    But why do I keep reading Lurch for Lunch? God, I need to eat.

  2. I think it's Lurchella. Or Lurchine. Yeah. Definitely Lurchine.

  3. My mom went to high school with 'Lurch.' His mom was the music teacher at the school; he used to play the jitter bug on the gym piano but had to sit sideways because of his legs.

    Does this tidbit make me remotely more fetch?

  4. I'm not massively keen on those types of programmes, they're so drenched in sob stories, makes me heave.

    McKeys mother, a registered drug addict, locked her up in a dark cupboard, after getting the idea from watching Harry Potter. She thought that she might turn out magical, much like Harry, and bring in fame and fortune to the family, to payoff their debts to the pimp. She never had any friends at school, in fact McKey never went to school, hence her decision to enter America's Next Top Model. Her father (DNA test results pending)dresses up as a clown and rapes people... You know the rest.

  5. Teleconferencing...

    So THAT'S what you're calling it now.

  6. Girl does have a loooooooong chin.