Are you tired and sluggish?
Have you tried a new mattress?
Do you want to sleep with your husband?
Or not?
How are your spending habits?
Not what they should be this holiday season?
You should try the marvel of modern science and have your brain washed by,
Hypnotique Sleep Systems:
A triumph of technology, this new mattress delivers pulsating microwaves deep into your brain while you sleep through Suggestive Technique Thought Implantation Engram Replacement Therapy. It works to re-calcify purchasing and sexual impulses on the brain through re-culmination depositing. It returns a intricately freshly washed nexus of consumptive sexual behaviors.
100 housewives who recently underwent Suggestive Technique Thought Implantation Engram Replacement Therapy reported;
76% “Now hated what they were wearing.”
83% “Had the urge to purchase luxurious evening gowns.”
87% “Felt compelled to buy things they don’t need.”
93% “Were going to buy a new refrigerator.”
97% “Were purchasing new automotive upholstery.”
99% “Now say they enjoy sleeping with their husbands.”
For more info visit Hypnotique Sleep Systems:
So hypnotic, foil dispenser on the wall, deliciously peeling away foil from large ham while wearing sheer apron.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if she had colon polyps later from touching high fat wrapped in heavy duty aluminum? Probably slept well, though.
Miss J feels swollen with pride. She already buys so many things she doesn't need. AND- she hates what she's wearing! Take THAT Hynotique!
ReplyDeleteI prefer the Hpnotiq system for sleep.
ReplyDeleteOne of my houseboys is dusting my computer station as I am trying to view this video.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I enjoy a clean house, it is annoying.
Can you help me with a Hypnotique system?
god dammit! my mattress doesn't have even one fucking microwave in it!
ReplyDeleteI want a system that lets me sleep with other people's husbands. Oh wait, I've already got that, never mind.
ReplyDeleteDree-ee-ee-ee-eam, dream dream dree-eam dree-ee-ee-ee-eam, dream dream dream. So sang The Everly Brothers in their song All I Have To Do Is Dream.
ReplyDeleteFrom time to time I dream of living in my very own cottage in the Cotswolds with it's picturesque thatched roof, roses around the door and a garden full of hollyhocks and foxgloves. I'm sure with the help of hypnotique sleep system I'll be able to dream about it every night for the rest of my life.
Be warned! Too much hypnotica could make you lose al inhibitions, and you could end up dreaming about getting up to things you wouldn't do in your wildest dreams.