Mardi Gras Royalty:

King on the go at 8:05 P.M.

I'm wearing black and white two-tone wingtip shoes, black trousers, white point collar dress shirt, a blue foulard ascot, blood red velvet smoking jacket with black satin shawl collar/cuffs and my purple all purpose travel crown.

The parade-started five minutes ago, I find parking on Tarragona Street and hoof it over three blocks to the ever so chic downtown boutique hotel Sole.

There amidst the glamour I meet several attractive friends who bow and curtsy and we all quickly exchange European kisses before heading off to the curb to catch beads.

Meanwhile a street vendor passes by and we order drinks lots and lots of drinks.

In between drinking and smoking and curbside conversation, eccentrically themed motor driven tractor trailers filled with freaks float by blaring bing-bong music and throwing plastic bead necklaces at us which we place around our necks. Huge heaping mounds of plastic bead necklaces. Followed by more drinks and cigarettes.

Carefully editing my collection of beads I settle for one very ‘Barbara Bush’ oversized extra-long strand of white pearls very dignified and ladylike. I cast the rejects back unto the masses, say my farewells and head off to the nearest homosexual tavern.

I enter through leaded glass doors and stop upon the threshold then absorb the venue with a visual sweep from left to right of every persons presence. Making eye contact with each and every one of them. Once they all mutually agree on my obvious superiority I then move toward a table of friendly faces.

Ensconced in the inner sanctum of the clique I chat up the most handsome and witty of the bunch and steal him away. We do the same at the next table and the next until I have my own table filled with pretty sycophants who buy me drinks give me beads and chatter away about me.

When I grow bored with this adoration I slip the men’s room attendant five dollars to let me out the ‘back-door’ where I depart in my Stutz bearcat and whisk away into the evening.

Later I turn up at a casino with two hookers and a new piercing.