You’re both such dears to try an cheer up a bereft old woman. I could use a carton of Viceroy’s and a couple bottles of Scotch if it’s not too much trouble. I’m just feeling so puny today.
When I feel bereft and at rock bottom I like to listen to this Hungarian suicide song by Bjork. Do not listen to Billie Holiday's version or you'll end up slitting your own throat with a blunt knife. After a good weep Bjork's version really cheers you up.
I’m doing much better now that the ‘Hairy Maids’ have arrived and started empting the ashtrays and sorting out the liquor cabinets.
Oh Mitzi you really know the soundtrack for my sorrows. “Bartender! Bartender! Fix me another ‘Rock Bottom’ the last one could have used another squirt...don’t be stingy...wring it out...and play that pseudo/suicide number Lady Mitzi was going on about by that B-Jork...which reminds me Mitz we’ll be serving swan for dinner this evening, “Cook! Cook! what’s the correct carving verb for swan? Lets see you, alaye that fesande, wynge that partryche, mynce that plover, thye that pygyon, strynge that lampraye, splatte that pyke, oh yes lyfte that swanne...
DuPree what an excellent suggestion, “Conductor! Conductor! play the Toccata and Fugue in D minor please. Excuse me while I slip behind my changing screen and remove these crusty undies. Chamber maid! Chamber maid! Push that bag of Cheetos off the bed, Lord DuPree will be joining me for this afternoons viewing of Prisoner Cellblock H.”
Mademoiselle Mistress MJ, so kind of you to have fetched my tiara just in time to wrench my coiffure out of the way whilst I was gerdging. “Hairdresser! Hairdresser! Come quick bring some pliers and remove this thing from my scalp it’s starting to bleed again and would you be so kind as to comb the chunks out...Oh and Mistress darling would you retrieve my hand matched strand of pearls that Filth you brought with you snatched when you return? We’ll be supping at eight...bring your swan tongs and a bib.”
Mom???
ReplyDeleteEach one of us must send one of our houseboys over to assist you in whatever way possible.
ReplyDeleteYou’re both such dears to try an cheer up a bereft old woman. I could use a carton of Viceroy’s and a couple bottles of Scotch if it’s not too much trouble. I’m just feeling so puny today.
ReplyDeleteWhen I feel bereft and at rock bottom I like to listen to this Hungarian suicide song by Bjork. Do not listen to Billie Holiday's version or you'll end up slitting your own throat with a blunt knife. After a good weep Bjork's version really cheers you up.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tonic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCEJtUNe90A
Honey, we all need our little fugue days where we can mope around a bit and not change our undies from the night before.
ReplyDeleteCinch up your robe, pour yourself another shot and light another cigarette - and remember better days and better men.
I'll be joining you shortly.
Just checking in to see how you are the morning after the night before.
ReplyDeleteI’m doing much better now that the ‘Hairy Maids’ have arrived and started empting the ashtrays and sorting out the liquor cabinets.
ReplyDeleteOh Mitzi you really know the soundtrack for my sorrows. “Bartender! Bartender! Fix me another ‘Rock Bottom’ the last one could have used another squirt...don’t be stingy...wring it out...and play that pseudo/suicide number Lady Mitzi was going on about by that B-Jork...which reminds me Mitz we’ll be serving swan for dinner this evening, “Cook! Cook! what’s the correct carving verb for swan? Lets see you, alaye that fesande, wynge that partryche, mynce that plover, thye that pygyon, strynge that lampraye, splatte that pyke, oh yes lyfte that
swanne...
DuPree what an excellent suggestion, “Conductor! Conductor! play the Toccata and Fugue in D minor please. Excuse me while I slip behind my changing screen and remove these crusty undies. Chamber maid! Chamber maid! Push that bag of Cheetos off the bed, Lord DuPree will be joining me for this afternoons viewing of Prisoner Cellblock H.”
Mademoiselle Mistress MJ, so kind of you to have fetched my tiara just in time to wrench my coiffure out of the way whilst I was gerdging. “Hairdresser! Hairdresser! Come quick bring some pliers and remove this thing from my scalp it’s starting to bleed again and would you be so kind as to comb the chunks out...Oh and Mistress darling would you retrieve my hand matched strand of pearls that Filth you brought with you snatched when you return? We’ll be supping at eight...bring your swan tongs and a bib.”
Miss Janey caught cancer just looking at the pictures.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better! I can't wait to view your film art.
ReplyDeleteYay, Thank you Ray Ray, I hope you enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteOh and sorry about that Miss J, but the good news is that we may soon have a quality health care program to take care of that for you.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, dear, I thought of you the other night when I put together the following ensemble:
ReplyDelete1) Summer silk trousers in abstract printed purple and indigo silk
2) Crisply pressed white shirt
3) Single brass button, boy-cut shrunken navy blazer
4) Green and yellow madras print bow tie
5) White and buttercup yellow pocket hank
6) My green shoes
It sounds like vomit on paper, but it looked divine. Put on your Lily Pulitzers and cheer up, darling!