Guests arrive by steamer for an exciting Murder Season.
Chauffuer driven motor coaches whisk murder parties to their luxurious destination.
Well appointed suites await at The Old Watson Murder Farm located on an idyllic alligator infested canal.
Appropriate murder attire is expected.
Each day your trained trapper will bring the thrashing alligator to the surface for you to murder as he guides your party on two morning alligator hunts and one afternoon Dodo bird kill.
Ladies murder groups are welcome and “Special Lady Murder Guides” are provided for just such occasion.
Alligator Joe is on hand for skinning your catch. Joe will carefully salt pack your excess alligator meat, delivery is guaranteed to arrive fresh as the day you murdered it. He also crafts exquisite footwear and luggage. 
Madame,"Cook", boasts 850 recipes for murdering and preparing alligator meat.
Each guest will murder at least one alligator per day or the cost of the hunt is free.
Our murder hunts are GUARANTEED!
This is truly a once in a lifetime murder adventure that your family will always treasure.
I wasn't scared of all those dangerous open mouthed creatures...until I saw Madame.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was there with my blunderbuss.
ReplyDeleteIf I were in Florida I wouldn't hunt for crocs...
ReplyDeleteOh I DO apologize for my bitch CyberPoof getting loose on your blog.
ReplyDeleteI have no control over my bitches but let's face it...
He's here for more of your your fine ass.
Jason - I think Madame in a swamp would be more fearsome than any alligator.
ReplyDeleteMitzi - Don’t you take your blunderbuss with you at all times? Mitzi on the hunt for fashionable feathers, furs and hides is a dizzying display of focused ferocity. I carry a dragoon myself.
Cyber Petra - Not the cheap Chinese cellulose shoes! But “GATERZ”, it’s a different continent. It’s like living in the land of milk and honey here, the gators practically walk up from the backdoor swamp and jump onto the bar-b-cue.
MJ - In conjunction with The Old Watson Murder Farm, my ass now has it’s own TV pilot, “Murder...My Ass!” Meanwhile back at the Watson Murder Cafe waitress ayem8y patiently awaits your order.
*Licks pencil tip and pounces it on the pad and says, “What’ll it be?*
Arse or cock uh I mean croc.
ReplyDeleteI do apologise!
This was the most fucked up thing I've seen in days - and it was FABULOUS!!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
*eats breakfast and inserts tip in waitress Ayem8y's coin slot*
ReplyDeleteI need to replace my alligator skin gloves and skull cap soon...perhaps a trip to the Old Watson Murder Farm is in order. How much extra does it cost to have the trapper for a night...or just an evening, really. An hour? That's all I need.
ReplyDeletegoodness!
ReplyDeletei hadn't realised what was missing from my oh-so-tame vacations of yesteryear. they pale in comparison to the offerings of an honest to goodness Murder Adventure!
i must check my trousseau for suitable attire - are silky pantaloons a mistake? i should think that having someone as capable as Alligator Joe to hand should mean that i am safe from any nasty bloodspatter?