Recipe for Disaster:

What’s all this about the Hadron Colander? Why does the world need to improve the colander? Why a super giant enormous 5 billion dollar colander? Everything has to be improved and super-sized these days.

Recipe:

Take all of the Earths particles.

Smash them through a humongous sieve.

Fold in time and space.

Throw in a bag of Big Bang.

God crystals should begin to form.

Yield:

You should produce a large dimensional portal capable of ripping and shredding the very fabric of space.

It’s all so very exciting when scientist make a breakthrough capable of destroying the universe. While I’m on the subject of sex, am I the only one who thinks this thing looks like a giant techno masturbator?

I need to get back to the future kitchen and cook up more sex toys, if anyone needs me I’ll be in the asstrometrics lab.