Lady Mitzi:

I dreamed last night that Lady Mitzi and I went on a date.

Me: “Where does one go for a drink in this parallel Mitzi universe?”

Mitzi: “Why the Swinging Star of course...It‘s waay out.”

Incidentally this is exactly what I imagine a date with Mitzi would be like. Right down to the fab pink Rolls Royce, marabou boa, shiny blond wiglet, and sparkly gown.


  1. Thank you Ayem8y that was lovely. I have the same vacant look as Lady Penelope too, and after we've fucked, we'll smoke a few joints, sip mushroom tea and swing on that star til morning.

  2. You wouldn't think expressionless puppets could look totally gay, but they do.

  3. It's not an accurate portrayal unless Lady Mitzi's wig is askew.

    A date with Mean Dirty Pirate would involve roller disco.

  4. That gal needs to ease up on the botox!

  5. Wow Mitzi that is eerily exactly what happened later on in my dream, including your famous mushroom tea. Sadly the swinging star was shut down the next day as a public health threat.

    Peenee either gay puppet sculptors created them or puppets are inherently ‘gay’. Think Danny O’Day or Mortimer Snerd...mmm...Mortimer Snerd now that was a hot puppet I wouldn’t toss out of bed.

    I don’t like to brag Mistress but there was a little more askew than Lady Mitzi’s wig when I finished with her. I also made off with her furs and jewels.

    And yes I like first dates to be at the Roller Disco. Now if they could combine Roller Disco with second date of choice.

    Elizabeth darling, this epic masterpiece of puppetry was made before people injected themselves with botulism. I think Lady Penelope wore a mask, remember this was in the days before Acid Rain Barbie. Which by the by, Acid Rain makes for an excellent exfoliate.

  6. Of course expressionless puppets look totally gay. Or is that vice versa? Anyway, it reminds me of happy hour at Splash.

  7. Where ever does one go to have one of those shiny metalic suits made? They are the bomb.

  8. Was Jamie Farr the driver in the Pirate's dream. too?

  9. I love the way marabou boa rolls off the lips...

  10. "Of course expressionless puppets look totally gay. Or is that vice versa? Anyway, it reminds me of happy hour at Splash."

    So eloquently put! It sums up the years and years of struggle for gay finally become totally expressionless gay puppets.

    Now, “Nurse! Where’s my syringe of Botox? Stat!”

    Welcome Augusto. To make you feel at ease I shall endeavor to offer some actual advice in reference to the shiny suit of which I’m all too fond as well.

    First you go to Discount Fabric Barn and head for the Lurex fabric section. Buy five yards of the shiniest most tacky remnant. Head to the local tailor (in my case it’s Madame Bossa) Have Edward do your private fitting (he’s especially good with inseams make sure he draws the curtains) Moments later you’ll hear a lot gears grinding and such but finally five minutes later and voila you’ll have a shiny new disco space suit. Be careful when you wear it on the street as it’s powerful reflective qualities may blind nearby motorists and make them loose control and veer onto the sidewalk and run you down. Enjoy your new suit.

    Miss J. as a matter of fact Jamie Farr was the driver but in my Mitzi dream he was Klinger.

    Oh Reavis in my dream you were there and TJB was there and Ray Ray was there...yes it ended with a great big nocturnal Zow! Thank God I have Life Alert as I was firmly cemented to my sheets and couldn’t get up.

    Ray I have been performing at the old folks gay bar under the alias Marabou Jenkins but maybe a change is in order. Marabou Boa does as you say roll off the lips...lets hope my fans get to rolling their tongues as well.