Everyone is invited to my parlor. Please RSVP. Include a vivid description of who you are, what you’ll be wearing, and what dish you’ll be bringing. List various talents that might be appropriate for parlor games.
Note: Charades and shadow puppetry are strictly forbidden!
What sheet music will you be providing for accompaniment during the recital section of the program? Mabel made me put that in, she hates learning new musical numbers and the only one she really has the hang of is, “Oh Promise Me” and it’s a dreadful rendition.
Cucumber/Prawn sandwiches and lady fingers will be served promptly at noon. A tasting of my county fair award winning Elderberry wine and also a tasting of my not county fair award winning Cherry cordial. Scuppernong jams and jellies will be provided by my household staff of Lesbian servants. They’re in the scullery now busily cranking away at their contraptions making ice cream.
There will be a fashion segment, “The New Look of 1895” as modeled by the Ladies Purity Guild. They could use some volunteer’s as Mabel, Dorcus, Hortence and Vanita are the only members left in the guild. To be followed by a round robin table sewing bee and discourse of which the topic will be “bustles”.
Does anyone have sturdy knees? Mabel’s are shot and I need a good pump organist?
The Social will conclude with Victrola Waltzes. We’ll be learning the latest dance, “The Kangaroo Hop”.
“Crank faster Lesbian, my guests are arriving!”