Recipe for Disaster:

What’s all this about the Hadron Colander? Why does the world need to improve the colander? Why a super giant enormous 5 billion dollar colander? Everything has to be improved and super-sized these days.


Take all of the Earths particles.

Smash them through a humongous sieve.

Fold in time and space.

Throw in a bag of Big Bang.

God crystals should begin to form.


You should produce a large dimensional portal capable of ripping and shredding the very fabric of space.

It’s all so very exciting when scientist make a breakthrough capable of destroying the universe. While I’m on the subject of sex, am I the only one who thinks this thing looks like a giant techno masturbator?

I need to get back to the future kitchen and cook up more sex toys, if anyone needs me I’ll be in the asstrometrics lab.


  1. I'm still thinking about Joan Crawford actually.

  2. I'm thinking about lavender bags.