The Young Boozer:

I wouldn't trust a young boozer to be the treasurer and for that matter why name him Young? Why not Old Boozer or Horrible Boozer or Big'ole Boozer.

Truck'n:

If anybody is cruising Route 66 today,

Would you please make a detour to the ruins of the old Rio Pecos Ranch Truck Stop in Santa Rosa, New Mexico.

I’m in a bit of a jam.

Miss Grace Jones:

I've GOT to have that dress.

Dysgenic:

Today I was having a conversation with a young woman whom I’ve known for some time and the discussion never really turned to her own progeny until this moment.

She’s pregnant.

You see her sister was married to this strapping man and the union produced offspring. The young woman was babbling on about her sister’s kid and I stopped her and said, “You mean your nephew...It’s not a kid but rather he’s your nephew?” At which point she wrinkled up her nose and said, "I guess so".

She continued on about the boyfriend that she doesn’t want her mother to know about but was all too willing to tell me. The ‘boyfriend’ turns out to be the now ex-husband of her sister. Her ex-brother-in-law and the father of her nephew or the ‘kid’ as she refers to him.

So the ex-husband of the sister is now her boyfriend and the one who has now impregnated her with a child.

I said to her, “So let me get this straight, your sister’s ex-husband is now your boyfriend and the father of your unborn child?"

She said yes.

I said, “That makes you the mother of your sister’s child’s brother! And that now makes your unborn child his brother...and cousin.”

“His Brother/Cousin!”

She said yes, “But I don’t want my mother to know that we are seeing one another.”

I said, “Just when were you planning to tell your mother that she is to expect the arrival of her new Grandson/Brother/Cousin?”

She said, “I really haven’t thought it through that far...”

I said, “OBVIOUSLY”.

Miss Flo Rida U*S*A

It’s BEAUTY Pageant season. I don’t know about you guys but I just love a good beauty pageant and not just any beauty pageant but a low rent local level beauty pageant. Like the Miss Flo Rida U*S*A beauty pageant.

How many times can I type the phrase Beauty Pageant?

Not nearly as many times as these gals must use it in a sentence everyday.

So I won't bore you with the whole program or will I?

NO!

I’ve carefully edited the whole thing down to just the highlights of the program. And when I say edited I think you all know what I mean. I mean as reinterpreted by me in a ‘Let’s have fun with the Beauty Pageant’ kind of way. Now do you get it? Oh and the whole thing is brought to you by NAZI’S. Honestly.

Be sure to catch this pageant as I’m sure the U-Tubes will yank it soon.

Interview:

Swimwear Competiton: