So a girlfriend of mine (Heather) has this word that she says more than often and uses it to demonstrate between ordinary and extraordinary.

Wanna guess what it is?

That’s right, “Ah’maaaaayzing.”

For instance, “And there in front of God and everybody we had the most ah’maaaaayzing sex!”

Or, “Isn’t that the very most ah’maaaaayzing steel belted radial tire?”

Because sex is just sex and tires are just tires, but ah’maaaaayzing sex and ah’maaaaayzing tires? It alerts the listener that this is the time to pay attention to this particular story referring to sex and or tires. This information is to be remembered as it will be referenced ah’maaaaayzingly often in the future.

How trendy our everyday language has become. It’s filled with the latest infectious catch phrase. For instance, recently the word, right, was turned into a trendy exclamation. As in, “So I didn’t wash the dishes after she cooked dinner and she put the dirty dishes in my bed and took off to her sister Betty’s place. She's such a bitch!” Then you say, “RiiiGHT!” Where you change the accent and go up on the end of the word. Luckily this has died down. Soon after there was an outbreak of the what now's. Rather than saying,what? What did you say? You answer every question posed to you as if you didn't hear it and say, "What now?" Because of course you never really are paying attention.

More recently I’ve encountered a strong push to disqualify the uniqueness of the word unique. Because unique is no longer unique enough it has to be very unique, ”You have to go by and see that house it’s soooooo unique it’s the most unique’est place I’ve ever seen.”

While I’m at it, what’s with all this, pre this and pre that? “It will save you valuable preparation time if you buy pre-sliced carrots.” Because ordinary sliced carrots will never do.

I hate fake accent talking. The phone rings and the voice on the other end says in faux cockney, “Ello Guv’na.” Or the one that really gets it is the fake Southern accent, “Well I do de’clare!” said with an imperious clutching motion that’s like waving a hankie in front of your nose.

I suppose it’s the television to blame rather than a sort of local colloquial influence. If you were to watch a marathon of Real Housewives I feel it could definitely affect the way you speak, like saying, “ah’maaaaayzing” over and over.


  1. I heard that! Awesome! is one Miss J overuses.

  2. Ja, the fake Southern or Texas accent grinds my gears.

  3. i just love stopping by mean dirty pirate linguistics center.

  4. That rant reminded me of George Carlin. Loved it.
    Good grammer is truly a lost art.