I’ve been terribly busy lately. It is holiday season you know. I’m seasonal. I’ve been working with my product developers to package the Seasons in a shaker form. Just open the cabinet and get out the Halloween Seasonings™. Sprinkle liberally around the house. “Season Seasonings” by MDP.

Following one of my well attended and patented “Yummy Yard Sales” by well-heeled neighborhood Junkers I was visited by seller’s remorse. An occupational hazard of the hoarder. In my attic I have small department stores. The lamp department. The costume department that is further departmentalized with the wig department and the shoe department etc.

So the remorse part,

What if that flowing robe I sold was something that I could have used for a costume?

It’s better not to think too much about these things. After all it found a good home.

While rooting around the attic for plunder I felt the mesmeric stare of Vampirella (an attic resident) over my shoulder. She was telegraphing that, “I better hadn’t dare even think of selling her!”

Oh no sweetheart you’re part of the family like the deer heads and the caskets.

Then I realized I have no plans for a costume this year. That’s odd I usually have one formulating at least by September. Then it struck me, I shall be Vampirella for Halloween. Then the logistics settled in, where would I find so much red material for her body suit (unitard – tard?) at such a late stage. JoAnn’s Fabrics is bound to be out of red everything. Curse you JoAnn!

Once I made the beginnings of a horror movie about Vampirella. Did you know that Vampirella is an alien? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO VAMPIRELLA IS? Pick up the pace, people. She leered out from behind the comic book section with those lewd breasts enticing young boys to thumb through her. Vampirella is from the planet Drakulon where people drink from rivers of blood. When the blood dried up Vampirella came to Earth.

My movie got as far as her crash landing on Earth and being badly damaged and needing blood to regenerate. Along comes a motorcycle gang ready to have some fun when she kills them, drinks their blood, and takes off on a motorcycle to the tune of Out of Limits.

Wish I would have finished that movie.

So what plans say you for Halloween costumes this year?


  1. I'm more of a Vampira than a Vampirella.

  2. i was little edie beale a few years ago and have done no costume since. nothing revolutionary's come to me.

  3. She reminds me of Fenella Fielding in Carry on Screaming