Wabbit:

Have you ever had an uncontrollable involuntary all over body shiver?

I have.

I have them irregularly.

I have them involuntary.

I have them uncontrollably.

It’s rather like the unlikely event of having to sneeze while taking a piss. Don’t laugh it happens sometimes and when it does it hurts like a mother fucker. The urethra clamps down and stops the flow of urine from the penis in an excruciatingly painful way. The sneeze itself makes you close your eyes and your hand shaky, thusly the jerking motion of the sneeze results in the urine stream becoming unsteady and spraying the toilet and the walls and the toilet paper, etc. So ladies this may help to explain why some men leave an untidy mess behind in the bathroom. Or maybe your guy is just a pig.

On that subject matter, I never understood why the toilet seat HAS to always be left in the down position. I live a life of manliness. Women simply don’t live here. They visit…and remark…but my toilet is always in the upright position. That way I don’t piss all over the seat and when you ladies come over, the seat is always neat and clean. I understand both sides of the issue. I hear you say that, “In the middle of the night you might fall in the toilet.” I say twaddle! Don’t be so lazy. Get in the habit of dropping the damn thing before you go twinkle. That way the guy is never in the dog house for leaving it up and the seat is always fresh. Also when you get up at 3:30 in the morning you can bang the lid down loudly and wake the man from his sleep as a form of revenge. Then he can snuggle with you until you fall back asleep…that is if you want to go back to sleep now that you have awakened him.

Understand?

Anyway, this has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand and that is, “Have you ever had a rabbit run over your grave?”

I’m not sure where I got the phrase but it has always been with me. I am from Mississippi after all. I think my Great Grandmother Maw Maw Tatum used to say it. The implication is that when you suddenly have a full body shiver it means that a rabbit has just run across the empty grave in which somewhere you will someday be buried.

Aren’t those rabbits clever?

It’s creepy to think about your own mortality and that someday you will be buried in the dirt. Unless you have purchased a plot and then you know where you will be buried. Unless you are going to be cremated and that negates the whole purpose of the saying, “A rabbit just ran over my grave.”

When I say it people look at me like I just went into some trance and predicted the future.

What about you?

Have you ever heard the phrase before?