Look What I have:

I have intentionally not had my girl dog (Shareeka) spayed. I know I hear Bob Barker lashing me with his sharp wicked tongue about the poor unwanted animals in the world but, FUCK OFF BOB! See Shareeka is a bit high strung and I thought she needed a brood to calm her ass down. Besides I just knew that Shareeka and Two Pack would make the loveliest puppies, I have good instincts and matchmaking skills about these matters. I was right. I plan to have her fixed the moment the milk in her titties sours. Right now she’s a huge tit bag.

Anyway take a look at my wee little babies. Aren’t they adorable?

I have found (unsuspecting suckers) good homes for two of them all ready. That leaves two. So today I placed an ad on Craigslist. Good old reliable Craigslist. I hate Craigslist. They not only yanked my ad once but twice. Fortunately they forwarded this kind note as an explanation as to why:

"As you may be aware, animals given away for free can, and unfortunately often do, meet gruesome fates. They can end up in the hands of animal abusers like Barry Herbeck, a Wisconsin man who was convicted last year of torturing and killing animals he obtained through "free to good home" ads. He confessed to taking his kids with him when responding to the ads so people would be comfortable turning animals over to him. People known as "bunchers," who obtain animals illegally from random sources to sell to research facilities for profit, often acquire animals by answering "free to good home" ads. Small animals advertised as "free to good home" are sometimes acquired by individuals who intend to use them as bait in training other animals to fight. Gerbils, hamsters, and young kittens are often acquired to be used as snake food."

Fuck you Bob Barker. Fuck you PETA. Fuck you Craigslist.

I’m on to Facebook now.

If anyone is need of a puppy or snake food, drop me a line.


  1. They are beautiful! Did you give them names?

  2. Awwwwww! Thank you XL, but I hadn't better dare as that would make me get even more attached to them. I all ready have three dogs and another would just be too much. But yes I secretly have named them little nick names like Big Boy and Little girl etc.

  3. lord, this post went from my exclaiming "OMG! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE" to "omg, wtf".
    Thank you very much, Barry Herbeck.

    I think I have emotional whiplash
    ok, I'm back.

  4. Here you go Jason, pet this little puppy it helps to calm the nerves.

    Damn PETA, Damn Craigslist, Damn Bob Barker and Damn Barry Herbeck.

  5. I am in cuteness overdose. What is with Craigslist? They won't let people give away bundles of adorableness and they won't let rentboys peddle their pussy. Goddam nanny state.

  6. Oh you are just Adorable Mr Pirate... and so are the puppies.

    If I lived a little closer I'd take one off your hands tomorrow...

    But to bring one to the other side of the world would just make me feel too much like old Madge...

    Good luck with finding homes for the remaining two... they are all so cute...

  7. How large will they get? Do you have a male?

  8. Aren't they adorable? So well behaved too.

    Cookie...do you have snakes?

    The smallest caramel one is a male and he is the runt so he probably will be the size of a small chihuahua.

  9. I want all of them! Alas, I better just stick with the one I have; he's enough of a joy and a challenge.

  10. Morbid curiosity got the better of me and I looked up Barry Herbeck. Ye Gods! I wish I never. What a sick fuck!

  11. I adore your puppies what a clever girl Shareeka is.