A Wee Bit of Zsa Zsa:

If only Paris Hilton could be a sophisticated glamour puss like her Great Grand Ma Ma Zsa Zsa. This is about as close as we will ever see her get to that end.

Is it possible that Zsa Zsa is one of the undead? Like maybe Zsa Zsa is some voodoo queen and she jumps from body to body like some sort of voodoo queen body jumper. Maybe right now at this very moment Zsa Zsa chants spells from within a pentagram chalked out on her bedroom floor. Raving like a madwoman with thunder and lightening going off in the background and her hair wildly blowing around from a burst of wind that just blew the shutters open with more thunder and lightening and a close-up of her mouth cackling out incantations.

Finally we find out that Paris Hilton was actually conceived for this purpose in some sort of sick Satanic orgy with Zsa Zsa’s coven of weird undead voodoo queen body jumper witches.

We'll have split screen moments where we go back and forth between Zsa Zsa and her wild hair blowing and cackling to a scene of Paris suddenly having sharp pains while headlining the launch of her new fragrance at some Las Vegas casino packed with party people. Zsa Zsa cackling and Paris falling to the ground in convulsions in front of everyone. Then a swapping of the soul occurs and Paris finds herself trapped in the 90 year old withered body of Zsa Zsa and Zsa Zsa miraculously picks herself up off the floor and says, “Soddy Dahlinks” and resumes hosting the casino opening in her new Paris suit.

Somebody really should be writing all this down.


  1. "Raving like a madwoman with thunder and lightening going off in the background and her hair wildly blowing around from a burst of wind that just blew the shutters open with more thunder and lightening and a close-up of her mouth cackling out incantations."

    Such a beautiful image...poetic!
    What could only make this better is if she and her Hungarian coven skin the corpse of Paris Hilton, feeding her flesh to the chihuahuas, and wear her ratty hide like a mink stole.

  2. Why is Zsa Zsa wearing a small kitten on her foot in that last pic?

    Nice boobies on Paris, though...

  3. Wasn't there a movie starring Kate Hudson with this scenario? Skeleton Key?

    I just love saying, Zsa Zsa.

  4. Hoodoo Zsa Zsa should have traded that car in before Paris put so much mileage on the new one.

    Great cleavage.

  5. Paris certainly does have the cold, dead eyes of a zombie. That explains that.

  6. I'm sure I saw Zsa Zsa in the body snatchers...Or maybe it was just a movie of Paris'....

  7. Jason: Ooh that’s even better. I like the Hungarian coven annex connection. Maybe they grow younger from eating the flesh of a young blond virgin...wait a minute that won’t work. Perhaps just eating her will suffice...

    Well you see Michael back in the long ago days of Zsa, women wore real luxury like pearl and rare gemstones exotic hides and stocks and securities. The Zsa is wearing the ‘Hello Kitty Kitten Slipper’ once rare, now faux.

    Jill Jill Jill: You’ve exposed me as the Charlatan hack that I am. Wouldn’t my version with Zsa Zsa and Paris be more entertaining and campy?

    Hayward: That would have been the more prudent choice considering the disease and viral load the girl must be carting around in her mid section.

    XL: I think the fish has brown eyes but wears blue contacts that add to the deadness that surrounds her.

    Princess: See there is something vaguely familiar about Zsa Zsa and her cinematic sinister plans to remain alive and youthful. Some Hungarian witches are traveling to her bedside now to perform the transfer of souls...

  8. Wow! I am shocked that with the mighty help of a stylist & an ace photographer, Paris really could pull off the Zsa ZSa thing.

  9. Zsa isn't her Aunt, silly. Zsa Zsa is her step great grandmother!

  10. I can see I have a lot of catching up to do so I'll be back later.

    I hope you've been busy in my absence snapping new nudie pics!

  11. i've never understood the paris thing, but i'm impressed with these.

  12. I've discovered the secret of Zsa Zsa's longevity her husband Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt is a necromancer raising Beelzebub every now and again to help restore Zsa Zsa. Once a year old Frédéric arranges Zsa Zsa's dead body on the altar of diabolism and surrounds her with black candles and recites the following:

    O Fortuna
    velut luna
    statu variabilis,
    semper crescis
    aut decrescis;
    vita detestabilis
    nunc obdurat
    et tunc curat
    ludo mentis aciem,
    dissolvit ut glaciem.

    Sors immanis
    et inanis,
    rota tu volubilis,
    status malus,
    vana salus
    semper dissolubilis,
    et velata
    michi quoque niteris;
    nunc per ludum
    dorsum nudum
    fero tui sceleris.

    Sors salutis
    et virtutis
    michi nunc contraria,
    est affectus
    et defectus
    semper in angaria.
    Hac in hora
    sine mora
    corde pulsum tangite;
    quod per sortem
    sternit fortem,
    mecum omnes plangite!

    At this point the candles blow out and the doors and windows will start slamming. There is also a strong smell of sulphur in the air as the spirt of Zsa Zsa re-enters her corpse and everything returns to normal. Zsa Zsa sits up breaks wind and says to her husband that she intends to strip off and bare all for a saucy calendar along with Betty White. I've seen a sneak preview of this calendar and December sees Zsa Zsa urinating into the mouth of Betty White whilst Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt felches his sperm from out of her anus.

  13. Your version of anything would most likely be more entertaining!

  14. Stephen: I thought the same damn thing when I saw these pictures. My next thought was to call a taxi and put her in the nearest finishing school. Then I thought let me at her let me at her. With her money I could really turn her out. I think she’s also preparing for her soon to be court date, “Like I mean honestly Judge, did you really think that I was naturally this boney?”

    Cookie: Somebody has been on the Ancestry.com a little too much lately. Researching the Hiltons are we? Correction noted in New and Improved updated post. I could use your detective work to route out the prison folk in my family line. Then maybe Jason and I will find out that we are related.

    MJ: “I can see I have a lot of catching up to do so I'll be back later.”

    Translation: "I’m lazy and your post has more than three words in it."

    MJ: “I hope you've been busy in my absence snapping new nudie pics!”

    Translation: "You’re my slave BITCH! And I own your intellectual property rights."

    Norma: I know, I know. This gives me hope for that generation. Or maybe Zsa Zsa has already made the transformation and this is the earliest sighting..

    Mitzi: As a result of accidentally reciting your incantation out load three times, I am now not feeling so well. Please excuse me while I change into something more like an undead Zsa Zsa Gabor.

    P.S. I want to be in the December photo too.

    P.S. S. I would totally do him and become the next Mrs. Princess Freddy Prinz Von Assholt

    Jill: Thank you Jill. Thank you for appreciating my brand of crazy.

  15. Correct and correct.

    Now send me some snaps.