Tina, Elvis, Diana:

Inspired by the fact that I had a free hotel room, I returned to Memphis for a Diana Ross concert. Not just any concert but an outdoor venue, the Memphis Botanical Gardens. Many sights to be seen along the way too, like the “Confederate Flag Roadside Boutique”.

Belzoni, Miss'ippi, the poorest place on Earth where they show pride by hand painting the street markers on MLK drive.

The Tina Turner Highway!

Nutbush Tennessee.

Which reminds me of my oft used pick up line while there...

“Are you from Tennessee?”

“Cause YOU the only ten I see...”

Still haven’t worked up the nerve or the cash to actually go inside Graceland. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll find Lisa Marie there. Strung out in the Jungle Room.

We arrived at the concert with plenty of beer and sat way in the back. Which made it easy to roam around during the concert and lurk in the Botanical nooks and crannies. “Reach out and touch...some lonely man...make his world a better place...with your hand...”

You know that Diana Ross is really tiny in person. From where I was seated way in the back, I would swear that she was only about a half inch tall. And weighed at the most about a quarter ounce.

Tiny Diana Ross

By the way, this is how a STAR exits a venue.


  1. yes indeed!
    She might only be an inch tall, but her hair is at least a foot.

  2. What did you wear? Did you and Diana show up in the same frock, and did she have to bitch-slap you like so many stewardesses?

  3. All these years later, Diana leaving in the helicopter STILL gives me goosebumps.

  4. How were the truck stops along the way?

  5. @Jason: “Touch-Up My Weave in the Morning...then just walk away”, or “My...Endless Wig...”.

    @TJB: Well, I’m so glad you asked, you know the Mackie Chevron Halter Sequin Supreme dress in nude with silver? I wore that. Wouldn’t you know it, she wore the same damn thing. I was so tempted to scratch her eyes out but the bitch was way way down the terraced lawn and I could have spilled my drink...so.

    Really, I could kinda sort of make out that she was wearing green, but I’m not sure. That’s how far away we were...in the back row...with the bad kids...drinking beer and smoking things. I just had to imagine what she looked like with her make-up and her hair blowing. She was flawless, in my mind. Her voice was raspy and a little hoarse which made the performance more raw.

    As for Moi, I wore a fabulous pair of slacky sloutchy blue linen trousers and a deep zipper front tight clingy grey jersey polo with sandals to show off my pedi. It is the South and it was the outdoors and I am really tan and I am after all, me.

    @Michael: I know it really does make the hair stand up. It’s sheer glamour genius.

    @Mistress: Funny you should mention that. When I say free hotel room...I really mean hanging out in the parking lot of the Motel Six that services Fed Ex Truck drivers and um...

  6. The Obama/Confederate Battle Flag combo is a bit of a surprise!

  7. @XL: It was a little surprising to see it openly displayed right off the Highway like that but it was Mississippi after all and they don't take to his kind around them parts.

    I have to confess that I doubled back just to take this picture.

  8. damn....I'm wearing the Mackie Chevron Halter Sequin Supreme dress in nude with silver right now while I'm typing this.

    I may just have to march on over there and scratch your eyes out too....just to make a point..but I'm far too lazy to bother.

  9. @Jason: Bring it on and bring a friend, I have extra Mackie Chevron Halter Sequin Supreme dresses in nude with silver hanging around. I like to wander the streets with Supremes and a boom box pantomiming, "Love Is Like an Itching in My Heart".

    But I always gets to be Diana.

  10. Whenever I see/hear Diana Ross I'm transported back in time 20 *Cough* years to when my friend David and I use to interpret songs or re-anact videos in my bedroom. It wasn't just Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse Of The Heart. We would put mud packs on our faces and perform the supremes song "I'm Living In Shame" taking it in turns to play mama with raggedy scarfs on our heads.

    We would scream laughing when she passed away making homemade jam.

  11. Indeed, that's how a frickin' STAR exits a venue. Rock out with your cock out! I wanna an exit like that at my funeral.

    I be jellus here that you got to see/hear MISS ROSS...

  12. Love - should be called ILLVIS graffiti !