Two sources have indicated that a certain frequently visited "Infomaniac House of Beauty" has been shuttered for health code violations and improper use of lethal equipment. All patrons and especially those that participated in the following procedures, Anal Bleaching, Coffee Enema’s, Stick of Butter Treatment, and especially the “Happy Ending” Massage, SHOULD BE WARNED of a highly contagious rash that was rampant on the premises.

The Two Sources.

Now you and your sexual partners can get away from it all and...

Where you’ll receive the cure at the Mean Dirty Pirate,

The Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium is staffed with technicians skilled in the latest techniques for fighting the plague.

Mention that you caught it from Infomaniac House of Beauty and receive a 10% percent discount.

Once admitted patients receive their very own personal anti-toxin armadillo to milk eight times a day and ingest it’s magical properties.

Head nurse Peenee is in charge of the pharmacy and armadillos.

If for some unfortunate reason a patient does not respond to treatment or armadillo serum, final arrangements can be made upon checking out.

Patients responding well to therapy may enter a monthly beauty pageant and boost self-esteem.

Like MJ the newly crowned Miss Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium of April, 2010.


  1. In regards to nothing, you've just made me remember....we used to have a lepers colony here up in Carvill, mother used to tell me about it.

    Oh, and my grandmother *insisted* that armadillos carried it.

    So I'm sure your armadillo milk treatment can only help. Hair of the dog and all that.

  2. I'll see you in court, bitch!

  3. So that explains my symptoms. I'll be seeing your soon.

  4. Listen, I'm for anything that'll make my nose smaller.

  5. Oh, and my grandmother *insisted* that armadillos carried it.

    No they don’t! I’ve been faithfully caring for my armadillo for weeks and weeks and weeks now...Wait a minute...did you say they are carriers? “Nurse Peenee, Nurse Peenee...I want to speak to the head technician immediately before my lips fall off...”

    I’m so glad you mentioned Carvill as The Mean Dirty Pirate Leprosarium Inc. has recently taken over the administration of this former institution. Which incidentally is where these photo’s were taken.

    Oh and MJ, “I'll see you in court, bitch!” I have a legal team backing me and we have time to wait until you’re dead and by the looks of things should be any day now.

    Michael, Nurse Peenee just informed me that your room is ready. Once you are settled in come and join me on the Zen veranda.

    Felix, “Listen, I'm for anything that'll make my nose smaller.” You’ll never have to worry about that again or your big feet or hands or...

  6. I'm assuming that the Leprosarium is recycling all those old, discarded body parts in honor of Earth day.

  7. Sshhhhh.... it's my cunning plan to infiltrate the Leprosarium, and bring it to it's knees...
    *dastardly pantomime snigger*

  8. Oh JESUS CHRIST...why did I land here at the lunch hour?!...

    :: tosses salami sandwich ::