Let us all take a few moments out of our busy schedules to shop at Goodwill.
And now the life and times of Gary McFall as reported by the official Mean Dirty Pirate Gazette, obituarian, Mitzi;
"Gary McFall was watching the telly when there was a knock at the door. He assumed that it was that weird looking woman from Hamper Whores come to collect his weekly payment. However when he opened the door he was confronted by a cowled albino monk with piercing red eyes. Knowing he was the son of Jesus, it is likely that Mcfall had been expecting this visit all his life. The monk burst in and thinking quickly Mcfall pushed an amulet into his face causing it to sizzle. This action bought McFall time, and he escaped by climbing up the inside of the chimney and up onto the roof. Once up there, he saw that his house was surrounded by a ring of chanting Knights Templar, Freemasons Grand Masters of the Priory of Sion and and sales assistants from the Goodwill. In a final act of defiance and realising there was no escape, Mcfall flung himself off the roof rather than reveal the locations of the Holy Grail, the Spear of Destiny and the Ark of the Covenant, and that's how he died. A minutes silence please for Gary McFall 1953- 2007"