Lottery Dreams:

I said lottery dreams not loitery dreams!

It’s something that gets me through a rough day. I stop and think to myself that I won the lottery. Then the apartment in New York magically begins to decorate itself. Then the benevolent philanthropic side kicks in. Buying shoes for entire villages and donating to schools and homeless shelters.

Then I begin to think outlandish sums of lottery winnings and the whole thing begins to become megalomaniacal...

What will the course of action be upon winning $980,000,000?

Disappear and change my name to one of the dozen royal titles acquired from those who can no longer afford them. Buy several insurance companies, drop coverage for existing customers, and insure myself to the hilt. Buy scads of old Buick Electra’s and Cadillac Fleetwood’s and have them ‘pimped’. Then drive around drunk and crash them into people at the grocery store.

Buying up zoo’s would appear to be a noble cause and aid my notoriety but really I want to close them all down to the public and have safari parties for friends and family. Afterwards I’ll have their ‘game’ stuffed, taxidermied, gift wrapped and sent to their homes. There’s nothing like an elephant foot as a footstool.

Settle down for a day or two in India, buy up entire villages and enslave the peasants to work in sweat shops, crafting fine couture garments made from endangered species. Then beat them to death when they fail to produce a durable sequined upholstery fabric hand stitched from piranha fish scales.

After the villagers drive me out of the country with pitchforks and torches, I’ll crash my Lear jet into some heavily populated area of New York City and buy lots of historic apartments and install vagrants and undesirables. When values begin to fall I’ll snap the buildings up for a song then have the bums burn them down and collect the insurance.

Then the details become vague and I begin to hire people to think up new and wicked things to do. Like Voodoo, Crusades and DNA transmogrification.

What would you do if you won the Lottery?


  1. I think I'd pay you to hang out with me!

  2. Where are my manners...Welcome Jill, it’s a great pleasure...I too have a background in Interior Design and occasionally still whore myself out.

    I also seem to attract great gals here at my blog as I seem to do in my real life. I would absolutely accept the position of paid ‘hanger arounder’ if you win the lottery, most people pay me to go away.

  3. I'd finally take the plastic off the furniture and just go wild!

  4. I'd send slightly over the hill porn stars to your truck stop. Because I'm a giver.

  5. You'll be inundated with begging letters Ayem8y:

    Dear Sir,
    Our daughter was born quadriplegic. Although her disability is severe we love her dearly and were prepared to try anything the doctors might suggest to improve her condition. They performed spinal surgery but unfortunately there were complications and she suffered brain damage leaving her both blind and deaf. The doctors suggest a trip to Disneyland, Florida (Not Paris!) might help improve her condition. I would be very grateful if £10,000 could be paid into my account for our flights accomodation and spending money.