Ida Mae:

We’re having a hurricane. In November? Yep hurricane season lasts right up until December. Did you know that? Damn thing is projected right smack at Pensacola. Right at it. I’m going to miss it. I’m going to be in Tallahassee, lobbying for homosexualism and lesbianism and sexualism and any other ism. I just love a good hurricane party with the power failures and the drinking and the nothing to do but have sex.

Really though as a meteorological expert on Gulf Coast weather, I predicted that since we had a mild winter and the most lovely cool spring and summer that we wouldn’t even see a storm. I was right. In the past the worst ones have occurred around early October. Not this year but I did expect we would have one late in the season and Ida is on her way. Hmm, Ida...that definitely sounds like a storm to remember but I suspect that when she hits the cool water in the Gulf, she’ll lose some steam and become a tropical storm.

I hate missing out on a good tropical storm. Everybody freaks out and the grocery stores look like ghost towns. Schools shut down and shelters open up. As long as I have booze and cigarettes and clean sheets, I’m fine.

Oh well maybe next year.

Just for fun I've included my Florida weather forecast:


  1. I know, a November hurricane is just wrong. I figure by the time you need to pack away your white shoes, you should be safe form storms with names. I blame George Bush.

  2. When I see news coverage of the death and destruction caused by hurricanes, my heart goes out to those people. But I can't help thinking, if you live in a wooden house, of course it's going to blow down in a hurricane. Ayem8y it is your duty to tell the masses the story about The Three Little Pigs.

  3. My dear Mr. Peenee, I predict in this ‘New Age’ of climate change we shall have a hurricane on Christmas Day, ripping up the town and spoiling the festivities for all the little chil’ren. Thanks Santa.

    Jason - “This blows” is exactly my sentiment exactly. Ironically when the hurricanes blow, I get busier than ever blowing. I just love to blow, and be blown.

    Mitz - How can I warn the masses when my house is made of twigs? I really should have gone in for the brick model. Honestly it’s a Victorian hovel on the edge of Crackville. However, it was built in 1908 from the heart of southern pine, the timbers were ancient when they harvested them, cut out the center of the tree and discarded the rest for flooring. In my magic attic the rafters are practically petrified and it takes a drill with a carbide tip to make an impact, much like my ass. When you drill a hole in a rafter, sap oozes out and the whole room is filled with the fresh clean scent of pine. During hurricane Ivan, a strong category 3 storm, I stayed in the house and you wouldn’t have even known anything was going on outside. This bitch is SOLID. My only damage to my house was to the trees and a few shingles.

  4. I'm sorry but I became distracted from the topic at hand at the mention of your ass.

  5. You know that's just how he is. Always bringing up his booty.