Forever Poodle™

Losing a beloved family poodle can be a traumatic and devastating experience. That’s why a new service has been created specifically aimed at poodle adorationists and enthusiasts;

*Forever Poodle™ Grief Consultations begin at $100.00 an hour.

Endorsed by The Interstate Poodle Club.

Our highly trained and certified Poodle Grief Counselors will help guide you through the emotionally agonizing stages of Poodle Griefdom. Such as;

Denial: “Poor FiFi is fine. This can’t be happening to FiFi.”

Anger: “Why FiFi? It’s not fair”; “How can this happen to FiFi?”; “Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Just let FiFi live to see another day.”; “I will do anything for a few more days with FiFi.”

Depression: “I’m so sad for FiFi, why bother with anything?”; “FiFi is going to die…What’s the point?”; “I miss FiFi, why go on?”

Acceptance: “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for FiFi’s death.”

Make an appointment today, or if you are a shut in please take advantage of our twenty-four hour Forever Poodle™ Grief Counselors Hotline. Operators are standing by now and prices starting at $100.00 for the first two minutes and $1000.00 each additional minute.

Say your Poodle’s not dead yet? Why not immortalize your prized and precious Poodle in a lovingly painted portrait. Introducing;

The pose and style of the artwork is chosen when your Poodle arrives in our studio for his or her custom sitting.

Just like the uniqueness of your Poodle, each portrait is a one of a kind.

No two Poodles look alike as no two Forever Poodle Portraits™ look alike.

Forever Poodle Portrait™ fees begin at $100.00 an hour.

Your beloved Poodle is now deceased and can no longer pose for a portrait; put your Poodle on a Pedestal™.


Pierre can sit with you in your favorite armchair so you can stroke his silky fur forever. Forever Poodle™ that is…

Your Forever Poodle™ can be stuffed and arranged in variety of positions;

Finally Gidget gets to climb on that priceless antique chair forever with Forever Poodle™.

Do you like lawn ornamentation?

How about an all weather Lawn Poodle?

Fully protected from the elements with Scotchgard™. The legs are filled with lead to add weight and to protect against weed whackers. Tethering stakes sold separately.

Forever Poodle™ Taxidermy fees begin at $100.00 an hour.

Forever Poodle™ also offers simple Taxidermy instructions for DIY Poodle lovers.

Euthanize the Poodle that is to be preserved through taxidermy. Be sure to do this in a way that will not mangle the Poodle's body or face.

Remove the skin of the Poodle with a skinning tool. This can be purchased at your local taxidermy shop or online from Wildlife Artist Supply Company. Be gentle with the removed skin. Do not allow it to rip or tear in any way because you will be using it again for the final taxidermy product.

Dip the remains of the Poodle in a plaster of Paris solution to make a mold of his body. When dipping the Poodle be sure to keep him in the shape that the final product is to be like. Plaster of Paris is a permanent casting solution that will take the shape of whatever it is coating. When the casting is dry remove the Poodle's dead body gently so the plaster of Paris does not crack.

Make a mold of the Poodle using papier-mâché or fiberglass. If using papier-mâché be sure to use a thick layer strong enough to hold the skin that was previously removed.

Glue marbles to the mold for eyes. Add the original teeth back to the mold as well. Place the previously removed skin back on the mold and be sure it fits. Once in place you can glue the skin on the mold.

Set your new Forever Poodle™ in your favorite corner of the room so your Forever Poodle™ will always be remembered. Feel free to pet him from time to time.


Your Forever Poodle™ can now be Cryogenically Frozen in our new state of the art facility*.

*To be thawed out once the cure for your Poodle has been discovered in our surgical resuscitation center.

Forever Poodle™ Cryogenics fees begin at $1000.00 an hour.

Do you miss your Forever Poodle™ so much that you want her back at all cost?


Forever Poodle™ Cloning Service fees begin at $100,000.00 an hour*.

*To be determined at a later date when cloning is actually legal.


  1. I'll keep this excellent service in mind but at the moment I'm busy having my beaver stuffed and mounted.

  2. the image of mj's beaver getting stuffed has wiped what I was originally going to say from my brain.

    damn beavers.

  3. Thank you for visiting Forever Poodle™

    “I'll keep this excellent service in mind but at the moment I'm busy having my beaver stuffed and mounted.”

    Lucrative franchises of Forever™ are still available and glancing down at my spreadsheet, I see that Forever Beaver™ is still available and can be yours for the low, low price of $100,000.00. (United States Dollars).

    Thank you for visiting Forever Poodle™

    “The image of mj's beaver getting stuffed has wiped what I was originally going to say from my brain.

    damn beavers.

    Honestly the glorious image of MJ’s Great Brown Beaver getting stuffed and mounted is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day.

  4. My check is on its way!

    And my application.

    I'm applying for your "Post Cryogenic grooming Poodle hair sweep-up technician trainee position".
    My drug tests will arrive with the aforementioned check.

  5. I'm not a lover of poodles, they're too over strung and yappy and I fear our personalities may clash. How about providing the same service for working dogs, afterall they are slaves to us humans, the faithful labradors that guides the blind, the hearing dogs for the deaf and chihuahuas make substitute babies for the barren.