I spent yesterday in Dreamland. The skating rink. Twirling round and round in black light accent, center stage, toxically glowing and trucking to syncopating rhythm. A camel spin and a glide in reverse, a handstand with a kick of my leg, a back walkover and a clap under my back, a turn with a disco barrel tumble and then a screeching halt with jazz hand finish to a not so adoring teenage public. What’s wrong with kids these days? Don’t they know a star when they see one?

A roller disco STAR.

Thumbs tucked in belt loops, shoulders shrugging to the music; I take in the screen-printed advertisement, “Dreamland” only to realize my dreams of becoming a professional disco skater have been neglected and unfulfilled . Simultaneously realizing that a forty something roller boogie maniac can relive the moment.

Dreamland at nine dollars per session gave so much in return. A life misspent but the promise of reliving my youth came true... it truly is a Dreamland. I was one of the elite trucking in unison with kids who didn’t care if I was a has been roller disco queen but a partner to the beat of Apple Bottom Jeans. Magic, pure magic and it added at least forty-five minutes to my lifespan but my corns and bunions will last a lifetime.

Maybe it was the spandex pants or the gold lamé leotard but at that moment I was Linda Blair. Chucking a life of classically trained musicianship for the chance to get laid by a roller boogie grease monkey. A goofy hot roller boogie grease monkey. It started a love fire...and it’s raging out of control.

For the record and I go on the record here by saying this was the first movie to feature a classically trained upper class princess who gives it up to look for love in the streets. Of course there are variations on the theme, Flash Dance, Breakin’ 1 & 2, Save the Last Dance which launched the whole ballerinas gone bad industry.

Since the sad sad passing of my much beloved Farrah I have decided that Linda Blair is now the official patron saint of Mean Dirty Pirate. Long Live Linda!


  1. linda blair??? why not geri from,the facts of life?

  2. A place where nobody dared to go
    The love that we came to know
    They call it Xanadu

    And now
    Open your eyes and see
    What we have made is real
    We are in Xanadu

    A million lights are dancing
    And there you are
    A shooting star
    An everlasting world
    And you're here with me

    Xanadu, Xanadu,
    (now we are here)
    In Xanadu

  3. Because Larry after Farrah, Linda Blair is my inspiration. Are you suggesting that the Patron Saint of my blog be handicapped? Plus I’m trying to lure Linda out of retirement.

    Viva - You’re like my muse from Mt. Xanaxdu.

    She walks in I'm suddenly a hero
    I'm taken in my hopes begin to rise

    Look at me can't you tell I'd be so
    Thrilled to see the message in your eyes

    You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
    And then suddenly it's all there

    Suddenly the wheels are in motion
    And I I'm ready to sail any ocean
    Suddenly I don't need the answers
    Cos I I'm ready to take all my chances with you...

    You know I was there for the opening of Xanadu with LuEllen Pittman.

  4. Of course, I shall be your Muse, Pirate! Will you take me to that beach in California where I can see that special ONJ mural? I always wanted to make a pilgrimage...

    I shall always be there for you -you may summon me just like Obi-Wan to guide you whenever you wish! All ya gotta do is click your ruby heels together after a pitcher of margaritas and POOF! I'm alive to jive at Dreamland!


  5. Jesus, ayem8y, wasn't being a Truck Stop Trollop enough? Are you now a Rollerama Rutter?

  6. If Mistress MJ cannot be your muse (why can't you have two?) then she is not aMUSED.

    Perhaps we could fill in when Viva is on pee break.

    'Rollerama Rutter'...ha!@TJB.

    a classically trained upper class princess who gives it up to look for love in the streets.

    Isn't that the story of your life?

    At least the part about looking for "love" in the streets.

  7. Viva - The Roller Rama, Farrah Drama Muse.

    Come take my hand
    You should know me
    I've always been in your mind
    You know that I'll be kind
    I'll be guiding you

    Building your dream
    Has to start now
    There's no other road to take
    You won't make a mistake
    I'll be guiding you

    You have to believe we are magic
    Nothin' can stand in our way
    You have to believe we are magic
    Don't let your aim ever stray
    And if all your hopes survive
    Your destiny will arrive
    I'll bring all your dreams alive
    For you

    I’m hastily painting an Olivia Newton John Lattanzi Easterling, homage mural on the side of my rig as we speak in case I never make it back to California. I keep clicking my heels but the glitter just chips off...I need another margarita..."Bartendress another round of margaritars...What do you mean I'm cut off? I am not falling off my heels..."

    TJB - It’s never enough. Rollerama Rutter? I also enjoy bowling so I guess that makes me a Gutter Rutter also. The hazards of being a nymphomaniac you know or maybe it’s the testosterone shots I inject myself with three times a day...it make me horny long time.

    Mistress darling you are now known as “The Muse of Jealous Rage” besides there are Nine Muses in all. That leaves seven spots available. Well six spots as Mitzi was the original muse and the one that got me started on this path of debauchery. Five if TJB is interested in being crowned a muse, the Glamour Muse responsible for all things beautiful. To heck with it, TJB you are now an official Muse of MDP.

    Mistress of course you are my muse and you constantly inspire me, you are also the muse of instigation, the bad influence muse. That’s why you have to come in the backdoor so my Mother doesn’t see you...as for looking for love in the streets,

    I've spent a lifetime looking for you
    Single bars and good time lovers, never true
    Playing a fools game, hoping to win
    Telling those sweet lies and losing again.

    I was looking for love in all the wrong places
    Looking for love in too many faces
    Searching your eyes, looking for traces
    Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
    Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
    God bless the day I discover
    Another heart, lookin' for love...In The Streets...

    The Mean Dirty Pirate Muses,

    Mitzi Muse
    Viva Muse
    TJB Muse
    Mistress Muse

    Whose next? I could amuse myself all day long with Muses...

  8. I'm sure there have been PLENTY of others who've come in your backdoor.

    I want TJB as MY muse!

    And Thombeau!

  9. Mistress you ungrateful Muse you!

  10. If I take TJB and Thombeau, that still leaves you with PEENEE!

  11. FINE! Peenee makes an excellent minion...erm...Muse.

  12. Linda Blair is a fine choice for cinema worship! She gave some memorable performances in "Born Innocent" & "Sarah T. Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic." Great teenspoitation flicks that would never be shown on prime time during today's standards. Plus, she was hanging around the studio w/Rick James...how cool was that? Supa-Freaky!

  13. Miss J is jealous of the Pirate's disco skating prowess!!!

  14. Ever since I made Diana Dors my muse I've put weight on just like the fat cow did in life. The ideal muse has to be:

    A divorcee
    Wears too much make-up
    Sleeps in her make-up
    Have big hair
    Drink gin
    smokes like a chimney
    Wears a black bra and let the straps show.
    Painted red toe nails
    and she must know all the words to Xanadu and Y Viva Espana.

  15. Viva - I’m glad you approve! So many saints to choose from. I’m afraid that when I pick a saint they become doomed. Let’s hope Linda has a strong comeback before she succumbs.

    Miss J - Actually I can do all the things I was bragging about. Talent! It’s a talent and a teenage life spent in the Roller Rink. I see you in a yellow leotard with a peplum skirt twirling as my partner in a couples only skate to the beat of Cherelle’s Saturday Love...MUSE MISS J!

    Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
    Thursday, Friday, Saturday love
    Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
    Thursday, Friday, Saturday love
    Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
    Thursday, Friday, Saturday love
    Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
    Thursday, Friday, Saturday love

    Mitzi - I’m down a dress size but instead of tu tu I’m wearing a four four.

    “ A divorcee
    Wears too much make-up
    Sleeps in her make-up
    Have big hair
    Drink gin
    smokes like a chimney
    Wears a black bra and let the straps show.
    Painted red toe nails
    and she must know all the words to Xanadu and Y Viva Espana."

    All the above and more...I guess I’m your MUSE!

  16. I'm a muse??? How fun! Excuse me while I restring my lute, and fetch my flowing, diaphonous goddess gown from the cleaners.

  17. Yes TJB Darling it’s true! I receive my daily dose of Glamour and Beauty from toi. Truly inspirational. Beware though this MUSE business might be too much for one to bear as Mistress has laid claim to you as well.

  18. Are Linda's female prison movies on dvd? She made so many! From the 70s when she was the new fish, to the 80s when she was all glammed out like a hooker in a whitesnake video. I can't believe you blogged Roller Boogie. I think I might kinda have a crush on your pop culture sensibilities.

  19. Ray - Out of all of these comments I think this is the only one that pertains to Roller Boogie. It’s a Roller Rink Masterpiece. I’m not sure if Linda’s prison movies are out yet but I plan on immersing myself in Linda culture. Maybe you could hunt Linda down for me, I believe she lives in the Toluca Lake area. Of course I think we both share in a common pop culture history being similar ages but I was there the day Roller Boogie opened at the Meadowbrook Mart Cinema Six. It changed my life.