Sorry Darlings, I’ve been away at the darling Chamuckla Florida International Film Festival. The darling jurors this year were kind enough to honor me with a darling fifty dollar check, retrospective and lifetime achievement award for my work in celluloid.

Combine that with the money I made tricking at the truck stop and I was able to buy my very own rig. It’s not much but I have big plans.

On the outside it’s an ordinary semi-tractor trailer but on the inside it’s Monte Carlo.

A 24 hour rolling casino.

As the slightly fey tuxedoed Master of Ceremony, I walk about smoking and pecking old broads on the cheek continental style, and generally say “Darling” a lot.

“Place your bets...Place your bets...darlings”


  1. Darling, which pays better, the tricks or the slots?

  2. Which feels better, the stick shift or the handle on the slots?

    This could go on for days.

  3. Darling, while you bitches quibble about sticking your thingies in slots (ew!), I'll place my snake eye on 69 red. The boys are comped, right?

  4. Peenee darling be on the lookout for the signs, Coming Soon To A Town Near You, The Sin-Sational Traveling Cross Country Cavalcade of Last Chance, “Where chances are you gone get lucky”

    Darling........Jason........“Darling, which pays better, the tricks or the slots?” The tricks are looser than the slots darling, I say the odds are sixty/forty.

    Peenee darling, see above: *Jason.

    TJB darling it’s so nice to see you darling, in question to which feels better, while the slot handle is a stricter bitch offering only a rigid rhythmic up’n down vertical pleasure, (I personally feel that it increases my luck) the stick shift on my rig with it’s 360 degree unilateral swiveling orbiting knob of menace is nice when picking up trade on long hauls, gets especially good when downshifting a mountain.

    Ray Ray darling, Oops it’s simply Ray now is it darling? Very well darling, the drinks are on me darling. Say Ray darling, I propose you pose as a decoy darling at the roulette and craps tables, turn on the charm, lure’em in with a winning streak and a promise of luck on the table and in the bedroom then leave’em high and dry then let the slot hookers have go at him. I'll split it with you.

    I must dash darlings we have a floor show to put on, a cramped stage and the audience hates it but the gals work so hard, oh I’m on...And now Ladies and Gentlemen the “Copa Cavalcade of Chancy Dancers”...god I gotta work on that title...what’s that?....wha....is this thing even on? Play the music dammit...

  5. Truck stop trollop, they call you.

    Oh, and TJB? Don't pretend you don't know.

  6. MJ how did you know that my latest porn was entitled, Truck Stop Trollop? It’s not even in the dirty bookstores yet. Are you a lot lizard at the Shady Rest on county road 32?