Medieval Times:

So after the Egypt & China outing we flashed forward a thousand years or so and supped at the Medieval Times. Let me just say that this was an exquisite dining experience that can only be provided by a themed restaurant. Themed restaurants are always the best way to go and there simply is no other way to dine, think Chucky Cheeze.

Nothing says Medieval like a strip mall and inside the venue was as much authentically dreamed up surroundings as foam, cheap wrought iron, and spray paint will allow. Faithfully recreated period polyester costumes transported you back in time as did expensive and for sale suits of armor. Pre-show activities included warming your feet by the enormous open-hearth fireside while sipping ale drawn from modern spigots or browsing the bazaar for mock souvenir swords, pennants and banners.

Medieval Times is the realm of out of work musicians with long hard rock hair, British imports with TRUE accents, and thespians in need of a steady paycheck. Then there are just plain hot guys who are good on horseback and look good in faux chain mail tights.

We were seated in the Green Knight section as evidenced by our green paper crowns. There are no utensils at Medieval Times just plastic pewter plates and Pepsi. Our show began with the king and his lovely queen presiding over the festivities. This pair made no pretense over their homegrown peach soaked accents. It was so realistic. I think maybe the queens real father bought this franchise just to put his untalented daughter to work. Most entertaining.

My serving wench was a busy gal but was most gracious in allowing herself to be photographed. During the feast we were treated to a scripted and staged presentation that revolved around each colored dining section’s color-coded knight representative counterpart. It was thrilling absolutely thrilling waving my green pennant and cheering my handsome green knight toward victory.

The show was amazing filled with combat that was nicely executed and choreographed. I mean using real implements these guys could hurt themselves with one false move. They also had a section where these gorgeous white stallions pranced and jumped through the air. The knights jousted, threw spears at targets, and tossed flowers to the lovely maidens of their choosing in the audience. I shall forever remember my flower and it’s pressed inside of my keepsake program.

My Mother had the good fortune of being seated next to an overzealous little girl who never shut her mouth for an instant not even to chew her food. She became known as crazy girl and provided my Mother with lots of laughter. If you listen closely to the beginning of the video below you’ll hear my Mother’s infectious laugh.


  1. They should have shipped me over. I would have looked gorgeous in a wimple.

  2. Ooh dear, didst thou enjoy the knights in shining cotton-poly blend?

    I went there once in 1993 on a Disney trip with the band. Kinda fun, very cheesy.

  3.'s like Steak and Ale...but on steroids!

    (and I'm a bit jealous, actually)