Martian Christmas:

Kitty was excited to discover that there was a movie entitled Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. He loves anything to do with Christmas and bad movies and camp so he was extra excited.

I happened to see this movie once as a child during an afternoon double feature matinee. No I’m not that old but back in those days the theaters would run all sorts of movies for the kiddies no matter how old they were.

Anyway I mentioned that it was a bad movie but campy bad you know like good. It also starred a young child actress who later grew up to be the award winning world famously bad actress Pia Zadora. You know, "Let’s get naked and smoke and iron the chick’s hair…dig". Sorry kitty she wasn’t the little girl in pigtails she was the little Martian girl.

The double feature that day also screened another terrible Santa Claus movie from fascist Mexico entitled, are you ready, Santa Claus. It was far and vastly superiorly worse. However it did have this trippy scene where Satan is sent to ruin Christmas. Honestly the things they made us kids watch in those days not like the stuff they dumb them down with now. But that’s another story…

So for anyone willing to listen I offer up Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Audio Book. It’s really good and when I say really good I mean it’s really bad but good…campy good. After listening to this record you won’t need to use the sleep spray to send you off to beddy bye.


  1. Not only did I see Santa Claus Sucks Off the Martians, but I saw it on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Yowzah

  2. I'm on the hunt for a copy on DVD I swear I an trés excited to discover this...

  3. I have the MST3K DVD at home....!