Hurricane Preparedness:

I’m touched by the lack of response to my current hurricane predicament. Thanks for not worrying about me. Really…no really it’s ok. I’ll be fine; I’ll always be fine. I was a boy scout after all…for about a month.

I know how to camp out and wait for the Red Cross to bring ice and rations. Lounging by the pool getting tan waiting for the power to come back on. Filling my lanterns with tiki torch fuel and the generator with expensive gas to run the window unit. Picking pecans and ready to eat off the vine bronze scuppernong muscadines. Shooting squirrels and birds for the meat. MMM good!

My best hurricane preparedness tip is to get to the liquor store and stock up before the shelves become barren. You know the essential hurricane necessities like cigarettes and booze.

My hurricane socials are becoming quite jammed as of late. I don’t think that I can squeeze in one more party. I’m still trying to wrangle that elusive and exclusive invite of the beachfront condo hurricane party. It’s ever so chic to watch the beach erode right in front of your eyes.

Good luck to the evacuees trapped on the highways of empty gas stations. Good luck surviving the storm in your cars. Them that’s a stayin’, May the Force be with Ya and not A’gin Ya. Remember if you show up at my hurricane house party to bring your invitation I have a doorman and there is going to be a strict dress code and a select crowd inside.

Woohoo! We're having a hurricane Gustav party. Followed by several days of camping and clean up. For visual reference I’ve included before and after pictures of the destruction a category 3 storm can do.


  1. I, for one, am very worried about you. so please be careful

  2. Thank you Joe! Thank you for being worried for Jason and myself. I’m sure we will both be fine after all we know the drill. Oh and as my designated bootlegger you need no invitation to my hurricane party just march to the front of the line and flash your goods.

  3. We from Seattle wish you well, too. You're in our thoughts. Be safe.

  4. WOW! Big safe and warm hugs from Montreal!

  5. I just assumed you were too mean to take any grief from some hurricane with a sissy name like "Gustav".

  6. Amen, Mr. Peenee! But to be honest, the media has been giving Gustav a blow-job of coverage, and to the rest of us (who maybe haven't ever been through a hurricane), it just sounds like a lot of hand wringing, which may or may not be a disaster.

    But not to worry. When we had our last earthquake in California, nobody gave a shit, either.