Pensacola has long been a summering haven for the hobo, transient, and homeless. Pack your belongings in a red polka dotted bandana hitched to a cane pole, hop the rails, jump a train and enjoy luxurious scenic vistas from the wide angle viewing of a boxcar. Upon arrival you’ll find accommodations and amenities at the numerous shelters and parks on every corner. Lodgings can be found at glamorous Grenada Park, one of the city’s first park squares designed by the founding fathers. Hurry though as space is limited and on a first come first serve basis.
Lovely circular rows of azaleas offer guests privacy and shelter.
Inside you’ll find freshly trampled bedding nests.
The desirable center circle offers raised bedding (sleeps six) to protect from hurricane storm surge and comes complete with antique nightlight for added security.
Sturdy his and hers twin park benches are considered last resort as they are in plain sight of the bicycle riding homeless vigilante posse.
Hard planks of wood are comfortable, ergonomic and at more than six feet long can accommodate even the tallest undesirable.
Dining options are plentiful. Numerous food banks, soup kitchens, and grocery stores for panhandling can be found nearby. A local favorite, Barnes Grocery, allows shoppers to push carts home along city streets and then leave by the roadside for later retrieval. A local homeless delicacy is Seagull fricassee.
Use cooking oil from vat at the nearby elementary school.
Gather fresh vegetable remains and flour from school dumpster.
Pick mushrooms from park grounds.
Render seagull fat with flour to make gravy or roux.
Add sautéed vegetables and mushrooms.
Roll shopping cart over open flame and grill fowl.
Serve with scavenged alcoholic dregs.
Fling carcass remains into nearby tree limbs.
Return cart street side for pick-up and enjoy your stay.