In 1977 it was Farrah's World and we all just lived in it. Flash forward to 2007 and it’s Paris Hilton’s world and we all just suffer through it. The Farrah universe was a new and wondrous place to behold, while previously the universe was dominated by a bohemian and hippie chic sense of style. Then Farrah burst onto the scene with huge teeth, huge hair and huge handbags.
When Charlie’s Angels debuted, I was there for the event and I had mixed emotions about it, on the one hand I had a gay boy crush on Farrah and on the other hand at 12 years old, I wanted to be Farrah Fawcett! Not really Farrah, but a star with a swirl of “IT” surrounding me. See Farrah had more “IT” than anyone had seen for a while, not since Elizabeth Montgomery, or Marilyn Monroe before her.
Women flocked to the hair salons to get the latest celebrity hair style, “The Farrah.”
Little boys tacked the Farrah poster up on the wall and slept with the Farrah pillow, which I sometimes run across at flea markets that I'm too afraid to buy for fear of what little boys sometimes do with celebrity pillows.
I occasionally have Farrah as a visitor in my dreams, this started when I was 12 and I channeled her again a few months ago. I think Farrah is trying to tell me something. I hear you loud and clear Farrah...What is it Farrah? What are you trying to tell me Farrah? I don’t think I’ll ever find out what Farrah wants, besides most of these dreams involve Farrah and lots of guests at some Hollywood cocktail party, but I’m usually seated next to her or I’m even her escort. Farrah! Farrah! Farrah!
My neighbor Nancy was once a starlet in the 1970’s but now is content being a lovely mature model and her daughter followed in her footsteps and is regularly featured on magazine covers. Nancy’s daughter was engaged to Jay Bernstein, Farrah’s former manager, and had an engagement party that Farrah showed up for wearing dark glasses the entire time, alas the marriage was not to be.
I long for the good ole Farrah, the one with an incredible tan and frosted hair. She once had a vacation home on nearby Ono Island and that set my minds wheels a turnin’ and I hatched a plan. I wanted Farrah to look like she looked back in the 1970’s. I decided to kidnap her and strap her down on my rooftop in the blazing Florida sun, and cook her until golden brown. Occasionally visiting her to ring a few drops of water into her mouth from a dirty rag, while I painstakingly frost her hair. She sold her place not too long after that.
I still long for the Farrah who wore pantsuits with plunging necklines and a huge handbag, or the sporty Farrah who rode skateboards for a getaway from gangsters while playing tennis, or the jail break chain gang Farrah. I even miss Farrah’s terrible acting and her prove-to-the-world that she can act period, and of course her naughty playboy playmate period. I guess I just miss that period of Farrah, so young and fresh Farrah, the period of gazing at the beautiful Farrah. I think if I had Farrah on stage or in a dream again my direction would be, “Just stand there and look pretty Farrah...no, no...don’t open your mouth...just...PRETTY!”
Well I don’t think that I have to be the one to tell you that my precious Farrah is not in the best of health... Cancer...and she beat it...and it came back. I think she’ll beat it and have it come back a bunch more times before she’s done. I constantly view news regarding her health as a warning that my time with Farrah is drawing to a close, and that I should spend as much quality time with Farrah as physically, geographically, and televisionally possible, visiting Farrah with special attention towards making lasting Farrah Fawcett memories. I still have my Farrah Fawcett Make-Up and Hair Styling Center. I occasionally take the Farrah styling head down from the rooftop where she’s strapped in the sun tanning, drip a few drops of water onto her lips, careful not to disturb her make-up, while I lovingly frost and style her hair.
If you should happen to read this Farrah just know Farrah that, I’m your number ONE (creepiest) FAN!
Charlie’s Angels - Consenting Adults
My ever present all consuming passion for all things Farrah and my eternal vigil for Farrah News and health issues...