Secondhand Book Club:
Book reports of secondhand books reported in a secondgrade fashion
Secondhand Book Title:
Nickel or a Dime Bag?
Self-help books can be full of useful disinformation, so instead of reading or writing one why not roll up a fatty and let your miserable life’s problems melt into the sofa. “Nickel or a Dime Bag?” is just such a book. A recounting of the super stoned high times and the super squalid low times of a super trailer park cooze. Remember, Why write a book? When you can just buy one for five or ten dollars. Better yet, self-help-yourself to a nickel or a dime bag.
1. Waiting tables at a truck stop greasy spoon don’t get ya high.
2. Asking diners’ if they got a blunt can get you fired.
3. Blowin’ the short order cook can get ya high if’n he can get a hold of Tyrone.
4. Being a truck stop lot lizard is a “lot” more lucrative and ya might get laced.
5. Thinking ‘bout your old man beatin’ ya for gettin’ fired can harsh your buzz.
6. Hitchen’ a ride with hippies who are “holding” gets ya really high.
7. Inhalin’ hash with hippies leads to harder drugs and a life of crime.
8. Puttin’ out to get doped in the pokey passes the time.
9. Can’t write no more, comin’ down. N e e d t o g e t h i.
(Veracity of this book report is highly unlikely and any similarities to any actual book are purely happenstance. Apologies in advance for those who may find this distasteful and or offensive, it could have easily been a book about you.)