Ayem8y's Stuff And Such:

I look for something and it’s not there. I look again and again. Then the next time it magically appears. Is this some mind control being exerted by an unseen presence? Is it related to people with a sudden compulsion to massacre schools or public places? Has my reality skewed into one of the plots of, M. Night. Shyamalan? Am I crazy?

The answer of course is yes.

Among my other daily struggles, I seem to find an inordinate amount of parking lot cock rings. Four things at the grocery store now costs $20.00. I am accused of being a hoarder on a daily basis. I prefer collector. I come close to animal hoarding though.

I live in the Age of Information and I’m addicted to it. I like to think that I digest more information in one day than people would have in one year back a hundred years ago. It’s an evolutionary exercise. Also people in the future will no longer need emotions. Emotions are for the birds. I’ve already stopped using them. Productivity increases, information is assimilated and the wondrous dystopia begins.

My 97 year old neighbor died Sunday before last. I still think of him driving his late late model Cadillac down the street and waving to me from at least fifty yards away. Or showing me how to properly swing an axe. You let the weight of the axe do the work. And how to gracefully survive the discovery of a dead body found under your house.

Through a work connection I heard a tale about a recent sting operation to round up the hookers in a certain part of town. The odd bit of it was, is that one of the girls didn’t have any arms. She just had little flippers like a Thalidomide hooker. That’s some kinky hard up hookin’.

So anyway here is some porn from Mardi Gras that I'm tardi gras in gettin' to ya.


  1. Collecting parking lot cock rings could be the next craze ... sort of like those POGS twenty years ago!

  2. I have those moments and so does the husband where you are looking for something and can't find it and then it appears on your second pass. Worse when we moved and the usual places stopped existing.

  3. Why not start your own backyard carnival with those cock rings?

    Ring toss, anyone?

  4. "If life throws at you cock rings, have a game of hoopla." That's what my old gran used to say to me.

    I have astral beings living in the skirting boards so if I lose anything I channel Yvette Fielding and recite this poem:

    "Somethings lost and cannot be found, please astral beings, look around."

    and within the hour, it usually turns up.

    I lost a fridge magnet cum bottle opener the other week, it was a souvenir I brought back from Benidorm, beautiful piece of Spanish art, made from the finest acrylic resin. I used to get drunk and sing Shirley Bassey songs with it close at hand, anyway I'd lost it, I couldn't find it anywhere, so I said the above poem and waited and waited and whilst I was waiting, I thought I would empty the kitchen bin, as I pulled out the bin bag it got caught on something and ripped scattering tiny fragments of yes, you guessed it, my beautiful souvenir from Spain. *sob*

    1. My heart is breaking. Like a Spanish knickknack.

  5. Those striped pants are the best.

  6. You're giving me an idea.
    I'm thinking cock rings should be the next big carnival throw. Ring toss style!