Occasionally when I travel I'll spend the night at a friend's house. Last night was one of those occasions. I worked until after 9:00 P.M. then drove about a hundred miles down a creepy highway. The night was foggy with few other cars for companionship. I listened to the radio. Gospel radio…nope. Country Western radio…nope. Static…nope. I switched the thing off. When I reached a critical interchange I noticed my phone lit up. The message on the screen read, SIM CARD MALFUNCTION. Great! Now I'm all alone on a deserted highway with no way to call for help should I veer off the road and as my mother would say, "Wind up dead in a ditch". With each passing mile marker I noticed strange things.

Firstly, I saw eyes peering out of the forest along the deep ravines that border each side of the highway that curiously have no guard rails. If I should take my own eyes off the road for a second I'll end up in the deep ravine with no way to call and nothing but the other eyes for company, dead in the ditch.

Secondly, I pull off the road at the Dizzy Dean roadside rest area in Wiggins Mississippi for a stretch and a much needed cigarette break. The place is abandoned except for a tiny little booth thankfully attended by a tiny little security guard. I'm not alone. I nod he nods back. Then he flicks off a light switch and plunges the whole place into darkness and stares at me. As I sit on the bench in the darkness inhaling and exhaling my cigarette smoke into the fog I wonder where my smoke ends and the fog begins? Then I hear twigs crackling in the distance. Birds take flight with rustling noises. I begin to imagine Big Foot lumbering out of the woods. I stamp out my cigarette and get in my car lock the doors and speed off in one single motion.

Thirdly, I'm reaching the end of my tank and there are no gas stations that seem to be open. Finally I get to an area that appears to be civilized with a traffic light and a Waffle House, a fire department, and a gas station. The price reads $3.94! I'm desperate so I pull in to get exactly $3.94 worth of the damn stuff. I do so then head inside to find the whole place empty. I look around. I call out, HELLO. I use the restroom. I walk up to the register. There is nobody in this place. I turn around and I'm face to face with
Alice the Goon. I'm startled. She's carrying a mop and a bucket and says in a curt voice, "Can I hep ya?" I say no…no thank ya.

I get in my car and think about the eerie experiences along the way when I finally reach my destination and get out of my car and kiss the ground then ring the doorbell.

After a drink and conversation I was shown a door at the end of the hallway that was to be my guest room for the night.

The room was a welcome sight and I kept thinking about the ditch that I could have ended up sleeping in…with the fishes and the eyes and the no service cell phone.

The bed looked cozy and I fell asleep immediately.

Later in the wee hours I heard a noise. A sort of scratching noise coming from the closet.

I open the closet and find THIS!

I closed the closet door instantly. I thought I had imagined it. I open the doors again and it's still there. Yep it's still there all right. I go to the bathroom to take a knock out pill. I return and check under the bed and then climb in it and pull the covers up over my head. That image keeps returning. I finally fall asleep.

Later I wake up from hearing a door creaking. I jump out of bed and out of the door lickety split. I hang out in the bathroom for a while and splash cold water on my face then I return to the bedroom to find this…

I slept in my car with the doors locked and the alarm set.

Magic is NOT fun.


  1. OMG. Thanks a lot. I will not be sleeping at *all* tonight. I hope you're happy now.

  2. How thoughtful of your friend to provide you with a lovely little companion for the night... after such a traumatic drive and all...

  3. Let's be careful out there!

  4. $3.94 for a gallon of fuel? Spoilt bitch! You'd be shelling out around $9.59 for it here.

    Love the attractive titty ceiling light.

  5. I want to read the book! Started out like one of John Saul's better efforts; you're a good storyteller.

  6. I had a recent terrifying incident with a talking pepper mill.

    I'll save the details for a future post.

  7. You had me at "take a knock out pill"...

    Scary road story!

  8. So, a little Woodrow in your bed scares you away?