New Suit:

I'm in the market for a new swimsuit. All of the suits in my regular rotation have become saturated with oil and soiled with tar ball stains. I’ve narrowed it down to a few choices. Want you please help me make the selection?

First up, the ‘Intrusive Invader’.

Featuring a specially designed anal hook rear with a full over the shoulder adjustable strap that lets you increase or decrease the amount of pressure. The giant fish hook gives it that 'Catch of the Day' look.

And anal beads. Once the beads are lubed and popped into place this design is nothing less than startling.

And an anal probe. It comes with two plugs one for guys just starting and one for the pros.

All interchangeable for one price.

Next we have the ‘Grey Gun’.

In see through tricot mesh, it dries quickly.

Lastly the ‘Feminizer’ in nude. As modeled by K-Fed.

A fem-style vagina-look suit for all men. A male to female transformation design.

Onlookers not only believe they are viewing a hot girl but that she might also be nude.


  1. If you go with the Grey Gun, please ensure that it offers adequate SPF protection for Little Pirate.

  2. I'm trying to figure out why any self respecting man who isn't a drag queen would wear a "tuck" garment.

    All of these men, however need merkins, and fast.

  3. has ther been an outbreak of lice among the models at the swimsuit factory?
    Or has someone been let loose with the weed wacker?
    The gentleman proudly displaying his mangina obviously had very little to worry about to start with...

  4. how can you possibly choose? this conundrum will stay with me all weekend!

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  6. I vote for the grey gun, with an anal hool jauntily strapped to your arm.... a la
    Captain Anal Hook.

  7. Very very interesting. I would never wear anything to "tuck." In fact, I'd wearing something to make it appear bigger.

  8. As Mr. Nude Infomaniac, you should displaying your wares in full view!

  9. I really think that the 1st simple little number in black should be your choice. It will take you from the beaches of Bermuda to the swamps of Florida. By the way that Cookie bitch should try mowing the grass;she might find the toadstool.

  10. Here's my opposition to the anal hook: it says anal leakage to me.

    Since I am a shaved pubic hair affectionado on MEN, I kinda like the leather pouch.

    But can you get the leather in purple leather and have the entwined "male" symbol scortched on it?

    Now that would be stunning.

  11. “Here's my opposition to the anal hook: it says anal leakage to me.”

    Internally or externally? Because if you were to sit down on the thing it would perforate your innards. I’m thinking it’s just for show. Like in a gay beauty pageant.

    “But can you get the leather in purple leather and have the entwined "male" symbol scortched on it?

    Now that would be stunning.”

    Like the one Thom is selling? And for only $6.50 post-paid!

    I love the gay male linked infinity symbol. I’m torn between Magenta and Deep Lavender though...

  12. The intrusive invader looks very trendy!

  13. Wow. I fell for that one 'hook, line and stinker'...

    bada bing! Try the veal chops, folks; and remember the 10:30pm show is entirely different!

    Actually: ouch. I mean, beyond sticking a hook in one's arse what does it really do? Why can't someone connect a swatch of lycra to an Aneros for complete beachfront multi-tasking: a no-touch orgasm while working on one's tan...

  14. The intrusive invader reminds me of a pomanander cum lavender bag I used to buy for my Gran at Christmas.

    The Feminizer looks like a DIY medical experiment carried out by a bored and lonely bachelor (the sort your read about in women's magazines) that's gone horribly wrong

  15. I would think the intruder might be a good basic idea, but surely, after all your trips around the truckstop lot, wouldn't that dainty little hook fall a little short? I'd suggest something more along the lines of a grappling hook. Like Batman used to use.

  16. I saw an art film over the weekend where a German lad used a crane hook to probe his innerds. And it got me to thinking about your anal hook. How did it work out?

  17. Well I went to the beach wearing my new Captain Anal Hook suit and was doing cartwheels and I misjudged my landing.

    I’m in the hospital recuperating. The good news for all of my customers is that I now have a ‘bonus hole’.

  18. The hook gets my vote. Oooooh you have a an adult content page now when we log in heh heh! xoxo