Cock Blockers:
























There are numerous ways in which the cock may be blocked.

Gay Bar Edition:





















The cell phone: You will be chatting away to some prospective cock maybe even buy him a drink when all of the sudden the cell phone rings. No cock for you tonight, boyfriend has to rescue his girlfriend from her latest invented emergency. Two cock blockers in one move? Boyfriend came with protection tonight.























The girlfriend: Steer clear from this cock. Boyfriend hasn’t made up his mind if he’s gay or straight. Sure he walks and talks like gay cock but girlfriend hovers closely like an electric fence about his neck. More than likely she suffers low self-esteem and harbors feelings and resentment for the recently announced “I’m Gay” cock. Don’t waste your time she will block your every move.



















The stalkers: Say you find the new bartending hunk attractive? Take a glance at the sad sack patrons that have lined up around the bar for his entertainment. He doesn’t want to lose their tips. Unless he is specifically interested in you forget about it. It’s not worth the battle with the sad sacks. Besides they may become potential cock in the future so don’t isolate them for a lousy lay with a bartender who probably has a little cock anyway.

















The pack: There he is walking through the door looking like a million dollar cock, but wait he seems to have brought along a gay entourage. One by one they take their places, the wing man, the right hand man, and the three stooges fill in behind. The leader of the pack makes eye contact with you...and several others. This cock is a challenge and one that suffers from extreme ego. It’s best not to attempt a coup unless you have an entourage yourself willing to play offense and pick off the sycophants. Besides you will be in for a night of platitudes; you’re so smart, you’re so handsome, you’re little cock is so cute...



















The lovelorn: You went on a few dates with this cock but after the three date rule he never produced a cock. Does he even have a cock? You take a cock blocking measure and say a few niceties and return to your location. Mr. Right Cock strikes up a conversation with you when Mr. Lovelorn sends him a drink from across the room. Mr. Right Cock acknowledges the drink with a nod and resumes conversation with you. Then Mr. Lovelorn suddenly appears and puts his hand on his hip and lisps, “WELL whoth ya friend?” Mr. Right Cock introduces himself and thanks him for the drink, but Mr. Lovelorn doesn’t leave and takes up residence next to Mr. Right Cock. Do Not Leave the two alone for one second. If you do Mr. Lovelorn will move in and whisper details of your boring dates, “He just stopped! He never calls!”. When you return you notice that Mr. Right Cock has relocated across the room and Mr. Lovelorn is watching your every move. Best to call it a night.



















The stealer: So you're smoldering in the corner seat when a flighty bar acquaintance walks over and blatantly points out the cock he’s after. He slyly encourages you to do the same. Don’t Do It. He just pointed out a stranger. What he’s really after is the cock you are after because he doesn’t know what he wants until you tell him. Take a preemptive cock block and point out a stranger yourself all the while concealing the true cock intention. He’ll be so busy trying to steal your cock that he won’t notice that you picked up Mr. Right Cock and left.

8 comments:

  1. It's a minefield out there!

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  2. OOoo....genius post.
    I smell a book deal!

    Can I be your agent? Movie rights!

    I'm getting your casting couch measured up now.

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  3. Obviously a great deal of research has gone into this thesis. All valid points, professor.

    Plus I've now given up on a bartending career...

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  4. OH! I've been "the girlfriend" many of times! I'm just fortunate that I've been told I'm "the girlfriend" before a night of possible debauchery.

    Hopefully, I looked better than the chick with the lei!

    This post made me cackle several times! Yay You!

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  5. Oh God...where did you find my diary!....
    Great post Mr Pirate...it is all too familiar, slightly disturbing, and caused me to laugh at my own recollections of clubbing days.

    I need to lie down for a little while now and re compose myself...
    Thank you...

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  6. Such wonderful advice!! Funny, sad and true!

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  7. It doesn't put me off, the girlfriend can watch for all I care.

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  8. The Pirate should teach this course at the local community college. Indeed, he's just schooled Miss J on the Ways of the Cock...

    ReplyDelete