The Hodge Podge Lodge:

Did you miss me?

I didn’t think so.

I missed you.

Actually I arrived home late last evening from a week away filled with work and delightful distraction. I’ve been busily catching up with all of you and thinking up snappy comments, comebacks, and pithy remarks to be left behind on your posts. I’m thoroughly exhausted.

Not much new to report or rather nothing that I care to share with you. I’m passive aggressive that way. Plus I’m lazy and stingy. So sit back and enjoy slides from my respite.

This first carousel of 1000 slides involves time lapse photos of grass growing. Let me skip to the good part where 8 million mushrooms sprouted up on my lawn. Why do mushrooms suddenly appear? I think it has to do with aliens or comets that rain extraterrestrial space dust deposits down to Earth. Or maybe it has to do with dogs peeing. It's still undecided.

This next carousel of 1000 slides involves me snapping pictures on the beach while I sipped away at a gallon jug of very rummy Pina Colada and watched the sun dip into the Gulf of Mexico. Did you know that you can hear it hiss when it finally submerges under the water and toward China? You can.

Did you know that the sand along the Gulf sings? It does. It’s called singing sand. Listen I recorded a selection for you. Certain conditions have to come together to create singing sand:

1. The sand grains have to be round and between 0.1 and 0.5 mm in diameter.
2. The sand has to contain silica.
3. The sand needs to be a certain humidity.

The last carousel of 1000 slides involves random things seen along the way that caught my interest. Sorry for the slightly out of focus pitchers but like I said it was a most drunken work week. I’m off to work again tomorrow but I’ll check in to see how everbody’s doin’.

One last thing, I’ve decided to start an exercise regime to help me loose some poundage. I’ve enlisted the resources of Miss Debbie Drake. Now get on your leotards with Peter Pan collars and head with me to the land of Slim Trim Beauty and get to work you lazy pigs.


  1. Those are called fairy rings there in your yard, no doubt put there by the fairies in the window....or maybe Tommy Hillbilly's peeing on the lawn. Either way, they're magic.

  2. So that's what's growing wild around my anus...Fairy rings!

  3. I was hoping the singing sands would be doing a cover of Margaritaville.

  4. Listen I recorded a selection for you.

    Singing sand?

    I'm not fooled.

    That's the sound of you jerking off.

  5. Darn the luck - I just donated all my leotards to that charity that provides professional clothes to welfare women joining the workforce. They didn't have peter pan collars so that wouldn't have worked anyway. I guess I will just have to remain fat.

    If that woman got that way with her exercises, she must be bulemic.

  6. I am not big on mushroom heads. Just saying. Lawn or otherwise...

  7. lovin' debbie drake!!! its a sex video!

  8. lovin' debbie drake! its a sex video...

  9. Welcome back darling. Now start slinging posts, slacker.

  10. Will my rack be firm and toned like Debbie's if I do her exercises? It's getting a bit droopy lately...